Skip to Content
coronavirus in oklahoma

7 things Mary Fallin would do to handle the Coronavirus pandemic…

10:12 AM EDT on April 8, 2020

As we've pointed out a few times over the past month or so, Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt has made some questionable decisions when dealing with the Coronavirus pandemic.

Whether he was encouraging people to visit busy bars and restaurants on social media, taking his time to issue shelter in place orders, or simply trying to proselytize our state through the crisis, his actions and slow, not-so-serious response kind of makes you wonder what his predecessor Mary Fallin would do if she was still in charge.

Because I'm sick and demented human, I thought about that terrifying hypothetical scenario. This is what I came up with...

1. Issue a "Trailer in Place" order

She'd also temporarily restrict the practice of putting junked cars on cinder blocks.

-

2. Share a social media photo of family enjoying dinner at Cracker Barrel.

While Kevin Stitt prefers to spread Coronavirus at trendy food courts, something tells me Mary Fallin would hit up her neighborhood Cracker Barrel.

-

3. Encourage public to sanitize all viral videos with bleach.

Aint nobody got time for that!

-

4. Move all public school classrooms to the safety of hospitals

She'd also make sure all the greedy public school teachers check-in patients.

-

5. Secure 2,000 football facemasks from Academy for healthcare professionals

She'd also raid the supplies of local beekeepers.

-

6. Add hydroxychloroquine to the Governor's Mansion hot tub

This will be in addition to the 2/1 mix of alcohol and aloe vera gel.

-

7. Designate all cosmetic surgical procedures and therapies as highly-essential, non-elective medical procedures.

Her friends in the ruling class would love it!

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from The Lost Ogle

Everything Else

Top 10 TLO articles for November

We've somehow survived another month!

December 1, 2022
Everything Else

Ryan Walters’s new hair part goes super hard to the right…

An Ogle Mole spotted him out having a drink this past Monday afternoon.

December 1, 2022
Everything Else

Drew Stitt questioned by OSU police after trying to saw parking boot off pick-up truck…

He's been ticketed for 17 parking infractions this semester and has been labeled a "habitual" offender.

November 29, 2022
See all posts