As most of our readers know, there's nothing I enjoy more than lampooning, criticizing and shaming Oklahoma's idiotic US Senators for their draconian views, theocratic ideologies, illogical decision-making, general hypocrisy and bad haircuts.
Despite all that, I'm going to resist the temptation to shame James Lankford for getting out this weekend to buy essential flowers for a gardening project:
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old senators on social media. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design garden shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history...
Holy Grail references aside, I know James Lankford getting out to buy marigolds, begonias and pansies for his garden is irresponsible and sets a bad example. I sure as hell wouldn't get out for that reason, but I'm not ready to publicly shame the man for it.
First of all, it's not like he defiantly went to a DC grocery store to buy Corona after voting against a much-needed Coronavirus relief package. That's what tough guy Jim Inhofe does.
Second, if there's a store open selling flowers as "essential" business, and some Edmond-dad wearing khakis wants to get stuff for his garden as he either catches or passes Coronavirus around to others, I guess that's his right. The Senator's not getting any special treatment, appears to be practicing safe social distancing, and gardening is good activity to get you active and outdoors. If you're going to shame him, shame the person who took the photo, too.
Plus – let's be honest – we've all probably gone out once or twice when we shouldn't have during the pandemic. In the past week, I've ventured out in public two times to conduct "essential" business. The first time was at a cannabis dispensary to get medication. The other was to On Cue to get beer. I guess essential is a very subjective term.
"But Patrick, he should at least be wearing a facemask!"
Probably so. Then again, have you seen what James Lankford looks like wearing a Facemask?
See. The health risk doesn't outweigh the psychological impact of seeing James Lankford in a Skeletor mask.