Experts, news pundits, and minion meme-sharing extended family members on Facebook alike are all claiming that our world will look very different after the COVID-19 pandemic ends. In fact, executive orders and the recently declared state of emergency have already loosened restrictions on essential services and unemployment. Though most of them are set to be temporary changes, some of the legal requirements we’ve lost wouldn’t be missed if they were never reinstated. Here are 5 Oklahoma laws COVID proved were BS after all…
Bans on Alcohol Delivery
I think a lot of people saw the ban on alcohol delivery as a way to restrict access and thus legislate morality. If anything, the ban on delivery probably led to more inebriated driving because unfortunately people often don’t want to stop the party when the booze is gone. Thankfully, my grandmother was always morally opposed to drunk driving, which is why she taught my sister and I how to drive by having us chauffeur her to the liquor store. Hopefully the ABLE Commission decides to extend the lifting of this ban beyond April 17th after they see how many fewer drunk drivers and 12-year-olds are behind the wheel.
The Over-Incarceration of Non-Violent Offenders
In an aim to contain the spread of COVID-10, over 200 non-violent offenders have been released from the Oklahoma County Jail. But don’t worry, we still have a long way to go before we lose our first place title as the state with the highest incarceration rate.
Reading Tests for Driver’s Licenses
Because the reading test was not able to be given due to school closures, kids in Oklahoma who were considered to be 8th graders this year will be exempt from the reading requirement for their driver’s license. Come on, what the problem? You don’t need no language skills to be a good driver. That’s why our traffic lights are based on colors, Google maps can be completely audio, and God gave Chevy and Dodge trucks different emblems to tell them apart.
Waiting Periods for Unemployment
Our governor recently decided to waive the waiting period for out-of-work Oklahomans to receive unemployment benefits. I’m betting it seemed really unnecessary to make vulnerable Oklahoma families stress and struggle to make ends meet…at least until the end of the pandemic. Then f*ck your feelings, I guess.
The Obligation Ability to Make Plans
I’m thinking this whole, “no group larger than 10,” “six feet of separation,” and “safer-at-home,” business is about to be adopted as my lifestyle long after these initiatives have expired. I haven’t had a bar tab or real pants on in over two weeks.
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Hayley has lobster pajama pants on today. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek
