For what's certainly not the last time...or the first time, our beloved governor figurehead is in a sticky situation. Thankfully, it isn't literally sticky this time, like when Christina Fallin's septic tank regurgitated its content across the Governor's Mansion estate. While that specific event may not have actually transpired, it would help explain the smell...
But, back to the matter at hand.
Our dearest Governor Stitt is in a crisis that we should have fixed a long time ago. Now, after many long months, it's time to take care of Oklahoma's top priority. According to a local award winning news source, our governor is in a stitty situation: his government subsidized housing is inadequate. You've heard us enumerate the importance and affordability of this renovation months ago, back when Stitt was considering, among many other options, residing in either the Centennial House or Buckingham Palace's OKC campus.
When first I heard of the plight our aristocracy had befallen, I knew immediate action was called for. According to former first gentleman, Wade Christensen-Fallin III, the dilapidated housing provided free of charge for our leaders was less than up-to-par.
"All the floors would leak and we'd run around with pots and pans and catch the leaks, and we'd get trash cans to catch the leaks." stated Mr. Christensen-Fallin, shortly after crushing a Natural Light on the front porch of the decaying display of decadence off 23rd street.