Every time I stumble across some news article or cousin-in-law’s Facebook post involving redneck shenanigans, I am alarmed and impressed by A) the weird phenomena that occur when you mix rednecks, booze, and idle time and B) how close rednecks come to death on a regular basis. In fact like Kryptonians, I am beginning to think rednecks are also some otherworldly race of humanoids not bound by the constraints and laws of the universe like us average people. I think rednecks are actually superheroes of some sort. And here are 7 superpowers Oklahoma rednecks seem to have...
Superhuman agility
Superhuman agility is generally thought of in terms of super strength, super speed, and all around super-badassedry. However, it can also be used to allude to mental agility. Being that they are generally a product of the Oklahoma public school education system and a childhood filled with second hand smoke and basic cable wrestling, most often Oklahoma rednecks are not considered to be the brightest and the best. But you give them some WD-40 and duct tape and rednecks suddenly have more ingenuity and fluid intelligence than those scientists who saved the crew of Apollo 13 in that movie with Tom Hanks.
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