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7 tips for running a profitable business in Oklahoma

10:57 AM EDT on April 9, 2019

With the weather getting warmer, people seem to be looking for ways to increase their income to fund things like new summer clothes and family vacations that their children will remember in therapy. While many people try to fund their summer expenses by working overtime or cutting their budgets, many find it surprisingly easy and lucrative to be their own business owner instead. So here are 7 tips for running a profitable business in Oklahoma!

1. Join a Business that Refers to You as an “Independent Consultant”

Hey girl. Don’t you want to, like, be your own boss and make money on your own time from the comfort of your own home? I tell you, ever since I became an independent consultant of **INSERT PYRAMID SCHEME HERE,** not only do I get my **STILL OVERPRICED BULLSHIT** at cost, but I also get to empower other women like you to make time for themselves by hooking them up with **A $200 TO $300 PAYMENT TO A COMPANY THAT WILL BE SUED FOR FRAUD IN 3-5 YEARS** so they can sell products **IN A FLOODED MARKET** and be their own #BossBabe. I’ll add you to my “business’s” Facebook group and **PRESSURE YOU TO SIGN UP** until you finally give in or I alienate myself even further from everyone I went to high school with.


2. Become an Oklahoma Lawmaker

If pesky state laws or lack of interest in your business model are making you cringe when you crunch numbers this tax season, it’s about time to do a little leg work to make yourself a little more profitable. While some may spend time marketing themselves or recreating their brand to be more appealing to consumers, it seems like it’s much easier to become an Oklahoma lawmaker. That way you can author bills that help your own business instead of improving it. Work harder, not smarter, my friends.


3. Open a Fast Food Chain Restaurant

Name one time a McDonald’s went out of business in Oklahoma. Honestly, based on our overall quality of health in the state, I think Micky D’s is the one entity that receives more consumer led funding than Life Church.


4. Make Up Business Terms

Creating a new idea is only 5% of the work when it comes to running a business. The other 95% is selling your worth to not only consumers, but often potential investors as well. While people who went to college for an MBA may know how to run the statistics and use the terms that lead investors to back their businesses, sometimes we regular dudes have to fake it until we make it. For example, in the previous blurb I used the term “consumer led funding.” I completely made it up. But it probably sounded legit enough you didn’t question it. In fact, here are some more terms: Marketed capital gains. Investor extinguished productions. Synergic solutions. Try them out at your next business meeting.


5. Make Your Business Versatile

Consumers love businesses that can meet many of their needs all at once. Which is why a profit model like the one created by the SK Get N Go convenience store in Warr Acres is genius. The SK Get N Go provides cheap gas, greasy snacks, and live bait. The more needs you meet, the more diverse and larger your consumer base will be.


6. Open a Year-Round Snow Cone Stand

There are literally only like two of these in the entire metro and the only time I ever seem to crave a snow cone is during the months of October through March. I can’t be alone in wanting my salty frogs year-round.

7. Market Yourself

If you are going to start your own business, it’s important to get your company’s name out there. But not all businesses are marketed the same. For example, if you’re an accident lawyer it would be best to buy a 30 second commercial time slot between Maury and Judge Judy to reach your target audience. Like I mentioned earlier in the post, if you’re a #BossBabe independent consultant, adding all of your high school classmates and mom’s friends to a “business” Facebook group will suffice. But if you really want to reach the best and brightest consumer market in the state, taking out ad space with The Lost Ogle is probably the best way to go.

Hayley markets herself. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek

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