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It’s probably time to update the state’s website…

10:50 AM EST on December 10, 2018


Over the weekend, while searching for an easy way to pay my car tag, I fell into the deep dark abyss that is the State of Oklahoma website.

Likely designed by the old Braum's webmaster using DreamWeaver, it's a chaotic, difficult to navigate chasm of factoids, data and lots and lots and lots of dead links. Here are seven odd, strange and unusual finds... 

The State of the State

The website also offers PDFs of our esteemed governor’s State of the State addresses. However, the last State of the State to be uploaded for the public view is from 2015, so we can all assume that 2015 was the year the state of Oklahoma gave up on believing Mary Fallin had anything important or helpful to promise.

Visitor plans

If you don’t currently live Oklahoma or don’t have immediate family members guilting you into returning, then you’re probably wondering what in the world there is to do in this state as a visitor! Much like we residents are wondering why in the hell someone would want to visit Oklahoma on purpose. Thankfully, the website has many links to various sites and event pages that offer information on the arts, culture, and tourist traps that paint our metro. And fortunately, a lot of the links are dead or not updated, so you’ll narrow down your travel itinerary quickly.



A virtual suggestion box

Good news! The website offers at least one working link. And thank the lord that link directs us straight to a webpage that greets visitors with a photo of the walking box of Ganier Nutrisse DIY blonde hair dye, Mary Fallin, and a link for Oklahoma citizens to send suggestions for government changes. It’s about time those in power hear the voices of the people they serve. In fact, I submitted a suggestion for a change in government leadership. But so far it looks like the oil overlords will be in office for at least another 4 years.



Excellent baby name ideas

From Emma and Ethan, to Logan and Chloe, the website is your go-to source for the most popular baby names of the year—that is, if want to keep up with the Jones of 2008, because that’s the last time the names and year-end facts were updated. According to the website, 2008 was a popular year for names that would make great sorority or fraternity pledges.


Couple Amidst Moving Boxes

Helpful mover-friendly links

The website also offers a list of quick links that aim to help those moving to Oklahoma to settle in speedily and easily. So if for some reason you are too enticed by our low cost of living or haven’t googled our state enough to know just how back-ass-wards our political and social climates are, take it as a sign that 10 of the 18 links on the helpful “moving to Oklahoma” page are dead and consider moving to a state whose website looks like it’s been updated since 2007. Or at least a state that’s been updated since 1957.


Redhawks Baseball information

Good news, sports fans! The website is your best place to find links to the Oklahoma Redhawks baseball team schedule. Being that the team was renamed in 2014, it is now your only place to find information on the latest Redhawks games.


A metaphor for our state’s wellbeing

It may be shallow and unrelated, but I always seem to be finding myself judging the trustworthiness of a business based on the quality of its website. As long as I can click more than 4 hyperlinks without being directed to a dead site and the stock photos don’t contain any people holding Motorola Razor cell phones, I generally trust the website enough to give them my credit card information in exchange for a novelty bird belt or whatever other millennial crap they’re selling. Because if the website is updated, reliable, and functional, generally the business is in updated, reliable, and functional. Being that many of the pages on aren't functional, maybe my anecdotal website evaluation isn’t that far off from the truth after all.

Seriously, just hire a millennial intern for two days and this entire site will be fixed. Then follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek

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