There's a lot of stupid ways to get caught doing crime. We here at TLO have spent a good amount of our energy over the years documenting some of Oklahoma's dumbest criminals. Whether it is teenagers spraying deer piss in a Walmart, fraudulent psychics, or even famous rappers who didn't know that it's a really bad idea to have weed in our state, we've covered it.
Since it's our public duty to report to you these mindless malefactors, this post yesterday by the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office warrants discussion:
There's plenty to break down where Hunter Berry went wrong here. Firstly, if you're gonna rob people, your neighbors are not a good place to start. They probably already know you're a weird and sketchy white kid, so obviously they're gonna suspect you first. If you rob all of your neighbors, it's not gonna take em too long to figure it out.
This leads into another point, that the expression 'cover your tracks' comes from a very real and literal place. It's been so rainy lately that if you walked across the street to steal your neighbor's Nintendo 64 or whatever, your big dumb feet are leaving evidence with every footstep in the mud.
The most egregious mistake that this young man made was to not use the cherry limeade coupon immediately. I can't remember the last time I treated myself to this delicious sweet & tart delight, and if I had the opportunity to enjoy one for free, I'd be on it before you can say "Sonic Happy Hour."
Hopefully, the neighbors who were robbed by the Limeade Bandit were able to recover all of their stolen goods. Just remember, if you're going to commit a crime related to Sonic Drive-In, either get head or go home.
