It's almost time for us to pour out a little Botox fluid for our homie.
Yesterday afternoon, Mary Fallin – one of the most loathed and disreputable Oklahoma politicians of this millennium – delivered her 8th and final "State of the State" address at The Oklahoma State Capitol. I guess we should go ahead and cue the music:
Yes, that's right. From Christmas ornaments and Easter egg hunts, to budget crises and revenue failures, we've officially reached the point in Mary's reign where everything she does is now referred to as "her eighth and final." Well, except for those plastic surgeon visits. I don't think she's done with those.
As Oklahoma's premier obscure local social blogger, I thought it would be fun to recap Mary's "State of the State" address. Check it out:
Well, that's it. Nothing else to see here. Thanks for reading our recap of Mary Fallin's "State of the State" address! Stay tuned with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.
Seriously, you really didn't expect me to watch that entire speech and then recap it for you? The first seven were enough for me. These speeches are brutal and painful! The Lost Ogle is a business, not a charity!
That being said, if you want to watch a notoriously bad public speaker with the charisma of an old Cheeto read a poorly written speech rife with tired, pandering-for-applause clichés, political non-speak, and Step Up Oklahoma talking points, I have some great news. It's available on the Internet! My only suggestion would be to not watch The Oklahoman's video. They cut out the ending, which was the best part.
Right after Mary finished her speech and received a totally undeserved, obligatory standing ovation, those OU students who complain about everything, including "Boomer Sooner," unrolled a giant banner and started shouting gibberish about water. At the same time, some other lady holding a baby yelled stuff about marijuana.
Meanwhile, Todd Lamb beat his gavel, called for order and asked security to clear the gallery. He was visibly flustered by the ordeal. I can't blame him. Guilt by association is a bitch, and having to stick up for the person who indirectly sabotaged your gubernatorial aspirations must be tough.