As Oklahoma's resident snarky media critic, one part of my job is to make fun of The Oklahoman for its sad, desperate attempt to remain relevant in the 21st century. They make the job pretty damn easy
Earlier this morning, NewsOK.com unleashed their saddest, perhaps worst ever attempt at clickbait when they published a slideshow titled "15 things about Oklahoma that surprise non-Okies." In what I assume is an effort not to destroy the journalism career of whoever wrote it, the piece is unattributed.
The article has already received about 3,000 views since it went live this morning, which means about 3,000 people had a real shitty WTF start to the day. The items on the list were so dumb, out-of-place and so non-surprising that you'd think it was satire.
For example, check out the first item on the list that would surprise "non-Okies."
Yep, that's it. Non Okies will be surprised about our state's passion for college football. Who cares that college football (and the dustbowl) is the only thing Oklahoma was known for during most of the 20th century, or that "Boomer Sooner" is one of the most well-known fight songs in America, that's a shocker.
Check out number two:
What the hell? Weather made the list? Considering the first question I'm usually asked by people visiting Oklahoma for the first time is "Am I going to die in a tornado," I think I'll disagree. This would be like including green in a slide show listing 15 shades of blue. Our "topsy-turvy" weather doesn't surprise anyone. If anything, it's what keeps non-okies away.
Here's number three:
Really? Construction? I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of a "surprise." Every major city has construction projects backing up traffic somewhere. The construction here isn't any better or worse than anywhere else.
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I've lived here my entire life. I've never heard one person brag about the Oklahoma donut shop scene.
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Donuts? Pizza? How stoned was the person who wrote this thing?! Oklahoma has some great pizza places, with some being better than others, but that's not "surprising." Every major city has a selection of good pizza joints. There's nothing unique about it.
Is this real life? Is NewsOK.com trolling us? I think the number one hobby of Oklahomans is complaining that there's nothing going on around here. The entire state usually shuts down by 10pm on most weeknights.
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Did the writer of the piece just think of a random insect and throw it in there? Cicadas are not even that bad here. They should have gone with angry hissing june bugs.
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Oklahoma is a great place for wine lovers in the same way that Cattlemen's is a great place for vegetarians. Seriously, wine made the list? Want to piss off your friends at a dinner party? Bring a bottle of Oklahoma harvested wine! They'll never forgive you.
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At this point, I decided to stop clicking through the slide show. I've given them enough page views already. If you hate yourself, you can read the rest of it here.
