Oklahoma is fine. That's why we wear all those cutesy t-shirts that constantly remind us that it's the greatest place on earth. But occasionally, through work or pleasure, outside forces compel us to leave the 46th state and go to other places. None of them are as good, of course, but sometimes the intoxicating scent of a new love can convince us that, just maybe, there's a new home for us that's better than what we're used to.
That instinct is terrible. Oklahoma is perfect, and if someone tries to convince you otherwise, they're probably from Texas. After a few days out-of-town, some old cravings and hankerings will come back to ensure we all return to the land of ONG. Here are 5 of the biggest:
Driving
I was in Chicago all weekend, and the city grid is flush with rapid transit rail lines, buses, and bike lanes. Sure, it made it really easy, fast, and cheap for us to travel long distances across the city, but it's pretty damn un-American. Everybody should drive everywhere all the time in this country. Riding on an elevated train is the same thing as taking a knee during the National Anthem.
In Oklahoma, there's very little danger of public transportation taking the place of cars, so hop into your SUV that's barely larger than my apartment, and haul ass down Northwest Expressway! If you can't afford one, I dunno. I guess you could just die?