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Louis Fowler’s 5 Most Refreshing Sonic Rt. 44 Happy Hour Drinks

4:09 AM EDT on August 18, 2016

Sonic Window

If there is one unified summertime tradition that many an Oklahoman partakes in nearly everyday, it’s watching the clock, waiting until it hits two to take a break, jump in the car and head to Sonic for their half-priced happy hour drinks.

Sure, you’re only really saving a dollar and all that sugar-water is going to do is drag you down an hour or so later, but there is something inherently magical about the way Sonic does it. Is it their crushed ice? The Styrofoam cups? Some sort of special cold-water filtration device? What is it about Sonic that makes their drinks taste so much better than anywhere else in town, especially between the absurdly hot hours of 2 to 4 p.m. on August weekdays?

Over the past few weeks, in the name of *ahem* research, I’ve sampled numerous Rt. 44 happy hour concoctions and here’s what I narrowed down to the what I consider the top five most refreshing Sonic beverages for any hot August day.

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Diet Dr. Pepper

Diet Dr. Pepper with Crushed Ice

If I’m drinking a soda pop, nine times out of ten it’s gonna be a Diet Dr. Pepper. But, even I, as a Diet Dr. Pepper fan, will find it hard to finish what I start about half-way through the can or bottle when the drink starts warming up and you can start tasting the aspartame and phenylalanine. But when Sonic does it, it stays consistently cold and flavorful well into 5 p.m., with enough ice left over to pour an extra 12 oz. can from the vending machine in for the ride home, just to add insult to injury.

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Ocean Water

Ocean Water Slush

The specialty drink so nice it gets its own section of the menu. Decidedly uncategorizable, this coconut-infused potable reminds me of an ex-girlfriend I used to have, who, in the summertime would wear coconut-scented sunscreen. I’ll never forget that exotic smell wafting off of her arched shoulders, a few kissable freckles on each blade, as she asked me to get in the pool with her and I refused because, well, I’m fat…every sip is a delectible reminder of those halcyon days.

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Frozen Cherry

Frozen Cherry Limeade with “Rainbow Candy”

There’s a big difference between that 7-11 frozen cherry limeade icy drink and this Frozen Cherry Limeade from Sonic and I’m not talkin’ ‘bout the price either. While the convenience store variation tastes like flat Fanta as the syrup sinks fright to the bottom of the cup, this Sonic take on the classic stays frozen all the way through, with that cherry sweetness mingling beautifully with the tart limeade, like two intertwined fruit-based lovers captured for one sweet moment in time. Throw in a box of “rainbow candy”—a.k.a. Nerds—for some extra tangy passion.

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Minute Maid Cranberry

Minute Maid® Cranberry Juice Classic Slush

When you’re coming home from the Oklahoma City Indian Clinic and you’ve got a handful of Lasix to take, nothing helps the diuretic process more than cranberry juice. And like the replacement organs I will invariably need in a few years, I like mine on ice—or with ice, in the form of one of Sonic’s classic slushes. Is it healthy? Those 149 grams of sugar say no, but my deathbed says “Yes, my sweet prince! Come and embrace thy cold throne as thy do thy cold libation so that we may rest in silent lucidity!”

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Malted Brownie

Malted Brownie Bliss Master Blast®

O.K. While technically not a Rt. 44 drink or a part of the happy hour special, some days you just need that extra pick-me-up to get you through until quitting time and few things provide as much non-erotic sexual stimulation like downing one or two large Sonic Master Blasts, preferably the utterly Caligula-esque Malted Brownie Bliss selection. Be prepared to utter “Et tu, H.R.?” as your jealous co-workers assassinate you and your decadent bravado in the break room. You will not be missed.

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I always feel so guilty for throwing those peppermints away. Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler.

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