It looks like another Oklahoman is moving to California for a better job.
Kevin Durant, the once-beloved OKC basketball star, two-time Ogle Madness Champion, ambulance chaser, and hopefully soon-to-be former member of the Oklahoma Hall of Fame, proved what a weak, phony, turncoat he truly is by ditching the Oklahoma City Thunder to chase a couple of easy titles with the pretty new girl down the street – the Golden State Warriors.
But on a positive note, at least we still have his delicious roasted BBQ chicken:
For some reason, KD's in Bricktown shut down their Twitter account not too long after that tweet. I'm not sure why.
So, back to KD's departure. What a dick move, huh? The guy can't beat Golden State (thanks to his own Game 6 WCF meltdown), so he wimps out and decides to join them instead. I understand the basketball reasons behind his decision. If everyone stays healthy, he's virtually guaranteed multiple titles in the Bay Area, but I totally (and terrifyingly) agree with Stephen A. Smith – it's the weakest move I've ever seen made by a superstar. Instead of creating his own championship legacy, KD hopped on someone else's. It's weak, cowardly and disappointing. It would be like Jon Snow hearing word of the Red Wedding and then traveling down to Casterly Rock to join forces with the Lannisters.
The only difference is this is real life. Kin of.
After monitoring social media meltdowns for 24 hours, it seems like there are two distinct camps when it comes to interpreting Durant's move to join the villains as opposed to being a hero and beating them.
They are:
Camp One: Emotional Psychopathic Jersey Burners
This camp is populated by the loud angry pitchfork-carrying mob who burn jerseys, smash bobbleheads, and leave negative reviews of KD's Bricktown restaurant on Yelp! They recently elected Rich with Pink Parrot as their mayor. These passionate people live and die with The Thunder, and barring a Lebronesque return that will never happen, will never forgive KD for his betrayal of the city and team that he pretended to be loyal to for almost 10 years.
Camp Two: Campy Feel Good Cheery Lemmings
This camp is filled by the casual Thunder fans who also watch the Today Show, share listicles from Hello Giggles and look forward to reading Jenni Carlson each morning. They don't really follow the Thunder too closely, but they go to games when tickets are given to them and probably own a Thunder t-shirt or two that they got for Christmas in 2013. Although they're sad about Durant's pathetic decision that proves he's a two-faced hypocritical loser, they appreciate all the good things KD did for the community and Oklahoma City when the cameras were rolling – something all A-list, image-conscious athletes do in their community – and wish him the best.
In case you can't tell, I've spent a lot of time drinking beers around the fire in Camp One, and getting into Internet shouting matches with the squares in Camp Two. I'm not the only one taking this hard. You should see the hole Kevin Ogle punched in the men's bathroom wall here at KFOR. I'm not sure whose blood was on the floor, or why Mr. Ogle now walks the halls with blood-shot eyes and disheveled hair while mumbling the lyrics to "Wish You Were," but tonight's "The Rant" should be interesting.
Not only does this decision question Kevin Durant's leadership, loyalty and character, but it also serves as an indictment against Sam Presti. How's that plan and sustainability look now, smart guy? You should have gone for that title when you had a chance. Presti is good (and lucky) at drafting talent, and especially adept at using politically correct corporate drivel and coach speak to communicate, but the Thunder "culture" he's so boastful about seems to do better at running off players than recruiting or keeping them.
Think about it. Under his watch, Sam Presti has drafted and subsequently lost Kevin Durant, James Harden, Serge Ibaka and Reggie Jackson. What do we have to show for all that talent coming through the door – one NBA Finals appearance and some forgettable Western Conference Finals defeats. Any other GM would feel heat and pressure for wasting all that talent, but Presti is still revered, especially by the local media, as some sort of genius. Losing Durant is an almost unforgivable failure. If you ask me, Presti should pull a David Cameron and resign. Let's see what some other GM with glasses can do.
Anyway, since this is probably the biggest news story to hit Oklahoma since The Land Run, we plan on providing wall-to-wall coverage of Kevin's betrayal this week as everyone in Camp One goes through DABDA. Right now, I'm still jumping between anger and bargaining. I'll be like "Okay, I'm over it. Time to move on. The world isn't ending." Then I'll enter bargaining, realize Kevin Durant is a phony turncoat, the good days in Loud City are now long behind us, the Thunder are at least ten years away from competing for a NBA title, and see this following tweet and get all angry again:
Yep, not only is Kevin Durant a traitor (Or "Trader," as this guy calls it), but he's a hypocrite, too. I guess being in such close proximity to the Oklahoma Legislature had an effect on him. I'm glad I'm not one of those tools who wears clothing on my body that features another man's name and number, otherwise I'd be burning a jersey, too. Good luck in Golden State, Weak Sauce. Hopefully Curry and his boys can win you a couple of titles. Then maybe you'll come back to Oklahoma City and we can like you again. Camp One can be very forgiving.
