The second round of OGLE MADNESS IX battles on today. First up, we have your second round match-ups between a Midwest Region that is loaded with serious contenders. Kevin Durant is in a contract year. Would winning OMIX be enough to keep him in OKC? Everyone loves a good earthquake, and chicken fried steak is part of our state heritage. Don't even think about counting out the Skirvin Bedbugs as a serious dark horse. Here are this morning's contests:
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (9) Abigail Ogle
(5) Teachers vs. (13) Skirvin Bedbugs
(3) Earthquakes vs. (6) Michell Dobyne
(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (7) David Boren
(1) Kevin Durant vs. (9) Abigail Ogle
(1) Kevin Durant
Round One: Defeated State Budget Crisis
Who He Is: The new guy in the Sonic commercials
Biggest Strength: Can drop buckets on any living animal, mineral, or Terminator
Biggest Weakness: Expiring contract
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(8) Abigail Ogle
Round One: Defeated Steve Shaw
Who She Is: Future overlord of Oklahoma
Biggest Strength: Is connected to everybody cool or important
Biggest Weakness: Schambach isn’t going anywhere soon
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(5) Teachers vs. (13) Skirvin Bedbugs
(5) Teachers
Round One: Defeated Oklahoman Editorial Board
Who They Are: Sad, underpaid individuals that are responsible for thousands of children
Biggest Strength: Can ruin generations of Oklahomans through their cynicism
Biggest Weakness: Will eventually move out-of-state/commit suicide
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(13) Skirvin Bedbugs
Round One: Defeated Carrie Underwood
What They Are: Terrifying insects that haunt visiting NBA players
Biggest Strength: Capable of incapacitating Kyrie Irving
Biggest Weakness: Vulnerable to Raid
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(3) Earthquakes vs. (6) Michell Dobyne
(3) Earthquakes
Round One: Defeated Carol Hefner
What They Are: Seismic reactions triggered by wastewater injection
Biggest Strength: Could knock your whole motherfucking house down
Biggest Weakness: Hasn’t spawned an Okie-centric “Twister” style movie yet
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(6) Michell Dobyne
Round One: Defeated Hipster Prince of Edmond
Who She Is: Witness of an apartment fire
Biggest Strength: Excellent storytelling skills, M&M jacket
Biggest Weakness: Has yet to follow-up with a local commercial deal
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(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (7) David Boren
(2) Chicken Fried Steak
Round One: Defeated Galleria Furniture Girl
What It Is: Not chicken, barely a steak, all the way delicious
Biggest Strength: Smothered in gravy
Biggest Weakness: Leading cause of heart disease in Oklahoma
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(7) David Boren
Round One: Defeated Mary Fallin
Who He Is: President of OU
Biggest Strength: Covering up the cause of earthquakes
Biggest Weakness: Ashamed of his son
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