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Ogle Madness IX: Second Round, Midwest Region

okstatedanceteam-ski4 (1)

The second round of OGLE MADNESS IX battles on today. First up, we have your second round match-ups between a Midwest Region that is loaded with serious contenders. Kevin Durant is in a contract year. Would winning OMIX be enough to keep him in OKC? Everyone loves a good earthquake, and chicken fried steak is part of our state heritage. Don't even think about counting out the Skirvin Bedbugs as a serious dark horse. Here are this morning's contests:

(1) Kevin Durant vs. (9) Abigail Ogle

(5) Teachers vs. (13) Skirvin Bedbugs

(3) Earthquakes vs. (6) Michell Dobyne

(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (7) David Boren

(1) Kevin Durant vs. (9) Abigail Ogle

kevin durant

(1) Kevin Durant

Round One: Defeated State Budget Crisis

Who He Is: The new guy in the Sonic commercials

Biggest Strength: Can drop buckets on any living animal, mineral, or Terminator

Biggest Weakness: Expiring contract

abigail ogle

(8) Abigail Ogle

Round One: Defeated Steve Shaw

Who She Is: Future overlord of Oklahoma

Biggest Strength: Is connected to everybody cool or important

Biggest Weakness: Schambach isn’t going anywhere soon

(5) Teachers vs. (13) Skirvin Bedbugs

okla ed rally 13

(5) Teachers

Round One: Defeated Oklahoman Editorial Board

Who They Are: Sad, underpaid individuals that are responsible for thousands of children

Biggest Strength: Can ruin generations of Oklahomans through their cynicism

Biggest Weakness: Will eventually move out-of-state/commit suicide


bed bugs skirvin

(13) Skirvin Bedbugs

Round One: Defeated Carrie Underwood

What They Are: Terrifying insects that haunt visiting NBA players

Biggest Strength: Capable of incapacitating Kyrie Irving

Biggest Weakness: Vulnerable to Raid

(3) Earthquakes vs. (6) Michell Dobyne

joleen chaney emily sutton earthquake 2

(3) Earthquakes

Round One: Defeated Carol Hefner

What They Are: Seismic reactions triggered by wastewater injection

Biggest Strength: Could knock your whole motherfucking house down

Biggest Weakness: Hasn’t spawned an Okie-centric “Twister” style movie yet

Michelle Dobyne

(6) Michell Dobyne

Round One: Defeated Hipster Prince of Edmond

Who She Is: Witness of an apartment fire

Biggest Strength: Excellent storytelling skills, M&M jacket

Biggest Weakness: Has yet to follow-up with a local commercial deal

(2) Chicken Fried Steak vs. (7) David Boren


(2) Chicken Fried Steak

Round One: Defeated Galleria Furniture Girl

What It Is: Not chicken, barely a steak, all the way delicious

Biggest Strength: Smothered in gravy

Biggest Weakness: Leading cause of heart disease in Oklahoma

david boren

(7) David Boren

Round One: Defeated Mary Fallin

Who He Is: President of OU

Biggest Strength: Covering up the cause of earthquakes

Biggest Weakness: Ashamed of his son

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