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Breaking News: Oklahoma Law Enforcement Officials Target Minorities

1:22 PM EDT on October 21, 2015

As Louis CK hysterically points out, it's good to be white... especially in Oklahoma.

According to a recent report by Oklahoma Watch, it appears the Oklahoma law enforcement industry is unfairly targeting minorities for civil asset forfeitures.

Yes, you read that correctly. Oklahoma cops are targeting minorities. In other news, water is wet, the sun is hot and Aaron Tuttle is angry.

Here are the details via

Nearly two thirds of seizures of cash by Oklahoma law enforcement agencies involve blacks, Hispanics and other racial or ethnic minorities, an Oklahoma Watch analysis of high-dollar forfeiture cases in 10 counties shows.

The findings suggest to some civil asset forfeiture law critics that officers use racial profiling, even subconsciously, in deciding whose vehicles to search or whose money to seize. Advocacy groups and some lawmakers argue forfeiture practices violate civil rights and allow police to take assets without a conviction or even filing a charge.

Law officers deny targeting people by race. Some said if Hispanics are disproportionately represented in forfeiture cases, it is because Mexican drug cartels often use Hispanics to transport drug profits. The racial disparities also reflect some national trends; the U.S. Sentencing Commission reports that minorities comprise nearly 80 percent of those convicted of drug trafficking in federal courts.

Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is. As we all know, blacks and Mexicans commit more crimes and do more drugs than whites, so it makes sense for the police to target these groups, right?

Ha! Kidding... kidding. I just wanted to see what it felt like to think like a Derplahoman. I wouldn't recommend it. It makes your private parts itch and everyone who talks to you stutters. Let me try a different response...

Yeah, I don't see what the big deal is. As we all know, cops disproportionately target, pull over and arrest minorities, so why should we be surprised that they do the same thing when it comes to civil asset forfeiture?

That better?

Anyway, I tried to get to the bottom of this, so I emailed Beckham County Sheriff Scott Jay to see what he thought about the report, and if he has any solutions. As we know, white people also commit crimes and traffic drugs. Why aren't they being pulled over and stopped?

Instead of answering my question, all he did was email me this "Spanish Word of The Day" meme:

00004backham count sheriff scott jay

And this thing...

00006backham count sheriff scott jay 1

Yeah... I have no clue why cops tend to go after minorities.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what our elected officials do to handle this problem in 2016 legislative sessions (hahahaha) and what progress will be made (hahahaha). Also, I should probably clarify that I really didn't email Sheriff Jay. Thinking like a Derplahoman was all the Derp I could handle in one day.

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