Remember our old friend Knuckles? He's the white Lawton rapper who made that amazing music video featuring underaged girls rolling around in horse shit to the whistling notes of the Andy Griffith theme song. It was the best thing to come out of Lawton since the syphilis outbreak of 2014.
Well, Knuckles has apparently dropped a new video for his track "Cowboy Boots and Shorts." We know this because The Knuckster sent us the following email:
What's happening Lost Ogle folks, it's your favorite Lawton rapper back at it again with a brand new music video called "Cowboy Boots and Shorts". It will officially be released at 8 pm tonight 7/21/15 but i wanted to give it to you guys early. I figured since your last article was so popular you might want to give me the Ogle treatment one more time. i'm sure you'll see it floating around soon on Reddit, Facebook, and twitter soon anyways. thanks for all of the attention you guys brought me. Keep repping Oklahoma!
P.S. I have your article permanently linked on my website. lol
Guys, I think we've finally made it. Not only did Knuckles give us a sneak preview of his new track, but he's permanently linked to TLO on his website. Yeah, it's no temporary thing. We're going to be on there forever! Joy! Now if only we can get Zero to ink our logo in his Oklahoma face tattoo, we'll have web traffic for life. Hell, maybe we'll finally be able to convince the Lawton Plasma Center to permanently advertise on our website. We'll get rich, too!
Anyway, here's the new video. Once again, it's called "Cowboy Boots and Shorts," which I'm pretty sure is the biscuits and gravy of Lawton fashion. Most of the video features Knuckles and his posse dancing around in circles after a long day working in the meth lab.
Listen, I don't think anything can capture the brilliance and majesty of "Andyyyy," but that's not bad for a follow up. Hell, the song is actually kind of catchy in an Offspring "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" or "Hey, I'm Going To Annoy My Friends" type of way. It would definitely make my playlist if I was taking a girl on a date to the Lawton El Chico.
Here are a few other notes / questions / observations:
1. Who the hell buys Keystone Light and Bud Light at the same time?
Hey, you don't mix shitty beer with extra shitty beer. You have to go with one or the other. That would be like bringing both a 2-liter of Coke and Sam's Cola to the family reunion. You need to go with one or the other.
2. Where's the jailbait?
The "best" thing from Knuckle's old video were the two 15-year-old groupies dropping it like it's hot. They were missing from this video, presumably because they're either inside a jail, hospital maternity wing or catfish.
3. What happened to the other dude?
Knuckles' sidekick in the other video was some guy named Jesse Dalton. I didn't see him in this one. I bet he was busy going door to door in neighborhoods selling thermal windows and siding.
4. When's the diss track coming?
Come on, Knuckles. You're a talented guy. It's time for the TLO Diss Track! If you come up with a good one, preferably with shorter credits intro, we'll permanently link to it on our site.