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Sir John Michael is a smooth operator…

11:16 AM EST on February 16, 2015

joleen chaney oklahoma

We all know what Sir John Michael does when life hands him lemons, but what about those rare, magical moments when cosmic forces drop an attractive news anchor at his school bus door?

I guess there's no need to speculate.

Over the weekend, Joleen Chaney received a special Valentine's Day surprise from Oklahoma's favorite school bus squatter. Because JoJo is straight shootin', highfalutin with Barbie doll style, she shared the pic of the gift on Instagram before probably filing a restraining order.

Check it out:

sir john michael joleen chaney

That's bad ass. That pic must be from Sir John Michael's pre-pony tail Lebowski period. It makes me want to steal a rug, sunbathe in the nude and drink a caucasian.

In case it's not 100% obvious, Sir John Michael has to be a time traveler... or the world's biggest player. I bet this was all part of a deliberate, calculated plan to woo Joleen Chaney without disturbing the balance of the universe and creating a negative causal loop in the space-time continuum that causes us to all disappear in old photos like Marty McFly. There's a reason he has that crystal on top of his staff, right? When you notice Joleen sporting a wolf tooth necklace during her next live report, we'll know his plan is working.

If you need more proof of Sir John's magical time traveling ways, just check out this high school yearbook pic that a Mole sent to me:

sir john michael high school

See what I mean? His name is different, he wasn't yet a knight wearing bear pelts and he has a Zach Morris haircut. That's conclusive.

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