After being busted by Channel 25 for having a poor credit score, Grant Long finally resigned as the Thunder's TV color analyst a few weeks ago. It was sad news for those people who enjoyed Long's deep knowledge of sports commentary clichés and ability to make any negative play seem positive through the art of twisted analysis. Listening to Long call a Thunder game was like listening to someone try to B.S. their way through a job interview – OKC's only weakness was that they sometimes worked a little too hard:
"Russell Westbrook worked a little too hard to get the ball in there to Serge Ibaka, but great effort by Russ!
"Kevin Durant worked a little too hard to get to the basket there, but that's okay, because he's giving great effort."
"Kendrick Perkins worked a little too hard to miss that open lay-up, but I love the effort by the big fella!"
Since his announcement, there's been a lot of speculation on who will be Long's replacement. In fact, The Oklahoman is now asking their readers to submit ideas.
Via NewsOK.com:
There will be a new Thunder TV team in 2014-15.
We need to get this figured out. The combination of Brian Davis and Grant Long had become a Thunder television staple since the team arrived in 2008. But with Long resigning in July after six seasons on the Thunder broadcast, there’s a void that needs to be filled.
“The Thunder wishes Grant well and will immediately begin the search of finding his replacement,” the Thunder said in a release following Long’s resignation.
The search starts here. Who should be the next Thunder TV analyst?
Give us your suggestions in the comments section below, via Facebook, on our Twitter page or email ehorne@opubco.com. Your suggestions don’t have to be someone with a long pedigree of broadcasting work. It can be anyone from a radio personality, to a former Thunder player.
We’ll run a special Main Event with your suggestions in Monday’s Oklahoman.
Okay guys, you know what we have to do. We have a mission and it's an important one. Let's flood The Oklahoman with suggestions that Jenni Carlson be the next Thunder TV analyst.
Here are some important reasons why:
• The Oklahoman will have to pretend that people actually want Jenni to be the Thunder Analyst.
Admit it, that will be kind of funny. If they get enough nominations, and I'm sure they will, they'll have to treat it seriously even though they know it's us just messing around and trying to make them feel uncomfortable. If they don't acknowledge Jenni as a choice, then we'll know the whole thing is a sham. It's a "win, win" for us.
• It will piss off Renzi Stone
I bet the Saxum interns have already submitted several suggestions that Renzi be the new TV analyst. They will not like this movement at all.
• One sentence.
Paragraphs
• Jenni doesn't have a gambling problem
Based on her college football predictions, at least I hope she doesn't.
• Everyone else is will be nominating Desmond Mason, Brent Price, Stacy King and Jim Ross.
Desmond Mason would be cool. Before games, he could even draw caricatures on the concourse.
• Jenni would fit right in with the Thunder
Let's be honest, Thunder TV broadcasts are pretty awful. Thanks to the Thunder Ministry of Propaganda, they're basically glorified infomercials. It almost makes me think they should hire Seamus from SmartWater. He'd fit right in.
Anyway, to nominate Jenni you can email Erik Horn at or hit up NewsOK.com on Facebook and Twitter. When you do, try to keep it as believable as possible. Maybe something like this:
