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7 Oklahomans who may also be genetically engineered robots…

11:04 AM EDT on July 1, 2014

If you haven't heard, one of our elected officials is a genetically engineered robot. This got us thinking. What if there are more Oklahoma robots out there???

Here are seven people who may also be robots:

7. Terrell's Roofing Guy

Why he's a robot: Because someone has plugged Fox News talking points into his hard drive and he's regurgitating them during his commercials for aluminium siding.

Why he isn't a robot: Because if regurgitating what you heard on conservative talk radio/tv made you a robot, 90% of Oklahoma would be robots.

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6. Amanda Taylor

Why she's a robot: Her interviews with "Oklahoma Country Music Legends" and "Rising Nashville Stars" are robot caliber.

Why she isn't a robot: She didn't short circuit when she saved that baby from drowning in the Northpark mall fountain.

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Jonathan Jones Oklahoma Facebook Marriage Equality
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5. Derplahomans

Why they are robots: The first Facebook comment above was on NewsOK's Facebook page when they linked to a story about the Mexican children being held at Ft. Sill. So I hope that asshat is a robot, otherwise we might have the next Hitler on our hands.

Why they are not robots: Because a robot wouldn't waste their precious battery power by arguing or putting racist comments on a news organization's Facebook page, they would do what they said. Did the Terminator ever make posts about killing John Connor?

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4. Zero

Why he's a robot:Why we wish he were a robot: Local rapper, Zero, is a machine at cranking out music and calling me a bitch. But, being a Democrat in Oklahoma, I've been called worse by better people. At least if he were a robot his diss video wouldn't hurt my feelings so much.

Why she's not a robot: Robots wouldn't get prison tattoos of Oklahoma on their stomach

Diss track update: I have written my rap and just need someone to give me a beat or track or whatever it is you call the music that people rap to. Then I'll need someone to shoot the video. If you know how to make a beat, please let me know!
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3. Mike Gundy

Why he's a robot: He's a man, and he was 40 at one time. At least that's what he'd have us believe. Anyone who has to clarify their age and sex is probably hiding something. Gundy, if you are a robot, have your programmers set your football knowledge to All-Star mode or All-Madden or something.

Why he is not a robot: Robots can dance. Hell, they even have a dance named after them.

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2. Morgan Woolard

Why she's a robot: Probably the robotic body.

Why she isn't a robot: I'm not allowed to answer that.

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1. Gary Busey

Why he's a robot: He was born in Texas, but graduated high school in Oklahoma and attended OSU, which is probably when he was turned into a cocaine fueled robot. Only a robot could live the life of Gary Busey and survive, but it doesn't explain why he's bat-shit insane.

Why he isn't a robot: I don't know... Shit guys, Gary Busey might be a robot.

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