Skip to Content
Everything Else

Mike Turner doesn’t eat eye boogers in his new commercial…

mike turner the lost ogle

Last week, we told you that entitled rich kid and US 5th Congressional District candidate Mike Turner issued a casting call for his new campaign commercial. He was looking to fill the following roles:

BREAKDOWN OF ROLES

FATCATS – Males, 30s-60s. Any ethnicity. Two bloated, red-faced, money-spending, over-indulgent men.

CANDIDATE – Female, 40s-50s. Professional, clean, good commercial look. She is running for a public office.

Well, it looks like finding bloated men and clean women in Oklahoma is even easier than I thought. In less time than it takes for Mike Turner to put a bowl on his head and cut his own hair, the campaign commercial was cast, filmed, edited and uploaded to YouTube on Tuesday:

First of all, did you notice the clip was uploaded and narrated by Rick Walker from the KATT? This leads me to believe that Rick had something to do with the production of the spot. If so, that means Mike Turner hired the same guy who wrote and directed Sam and Janet to film his campaign commercial. That would be like letting Drew Braum manage your company's customer service division. That takes some balls. Was the Video Vigilante not available?

Considering what they had to work with, the spot's not too bad. Well, at least not too bad for a campaign commercial. Sure, the girl could have been a little hotter and the whole thing was a giant cliché, but when your only selling point is that you can turn down campaign donations and a congressional salary and pension thanks to your family's money, there's really not a lot you can do.

Turner's only other option was look into the camera and say:

"Hi, I'm Mike Turner. Vote for me. I don't have any political or life experience, or the qualifications you'd expect in a congressman, but my family is super loaded so I don't need to take any money from other people. I'm accountable only to me and my parents. And by the way, you know Rick from the KATT? He totally narrated my other campaign commercial. He may let me do a bit on Rick and Brad Theater. Truck yeah!"

Anyway, I plan on breaking down the Republican race for the 5th Congressional District next Tuesday. In the meantime, hopefully the other candidates get in touch with Jack or Ron and make their own ads.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter