I originally wanted to write this post about comedian Kyle Kinane's show this Wednesday. I was going to interview him and drum up some business for Contemporary Arts Center, but then this amazing story fell in my lap.
From News9.com:
Police have arrested two women they believe were connected to a home invasion in southwest Oklahoma City early Monday morning.
Around 2 a.m., two suspects forced their way into a house in the 2800 block of S.W. 38th Street near May Avenue. The suspects tied up two men, ransacked the house, and stole several items. They then stole a truck from the victims and drove off.
It took the victims about three hours to free themselves and call police. They were not hurt.
Several hours late, Oklahoma City Police arrested 22-year-old Chelsea Smith and 25-year-old Sara Salcido. Smith is being held for robbery with a firearm, unauthorized use of a credit card, and concealing stolen property.
Salcido is being held for unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.
So, you are probably asking yourself, "Who are these ballsy girls" Well, check out the mug shots. First we have Chelsea Smith:
Chelsea Smith, or as her friends call her, Chuck, probably has toenails that look like Frosted Flakes. When police were booking her they said, "Look at the camera. I said, 'AT THE CAMERA!'... crap, that's close enough."
Those aren't stress wrinkles on her forehead, it's actually turkey bacon that she will gladly trade for a handful of mayonaise.
Did she even need a gun to rob someone? If she broke into my house while I was playing Angry Birds, I would just close my eyes and/or look at the ceiling with her. That way I would be able to maintain my 4-hour erection.
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This is Sara Salcido. If you couldn't tell, she's the brains behind this operation.
Sara doesn't have an "h" at the end of her name... because she ate it. Her goal in life is to make Assistant Manager at Little Caesars. Coincidentally, she uses Crazy Bread to apply her makeup. Also, that's not acne on her face, it's seasoning. It happens every time she cries.
Okay, all that was a little mean. I was just roasting them. We kid the ones we love and/or fear. I'm sure Chuck and Sara, as their CBS sitcom will be called, are a couple of good girls in a tough spot in life and will get a laugh out of this. They'll get better.
In the meantime, here is another picture of Gabrielle Wilde to cleanse your palate.
Isn't that better? Don't forget to come out and see Kyle Kinane Wednesday! And also, follow me on Twitter - @SpencerLenox.
