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Worst of OKC 2013: Worst Thing About OKC

8:30 AM EDT on August 29, 2013

OKC is awesome. We're not as awesome as we will be, but we're getting there. Our city is like Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back where it's pretty obvious he's gonna kick ass, but he's not as skilled at ass kicking in Empire as he was in Return of the Jedi...*sigh*....I spend a lot of time alone and now Gary England isn't on my TV anymore I'm not sure what to do with my life. I'm gonna go vote on what's worst. That'll make me "happy".


Alcohol Laws

No liquor on Sundays, except at restaurants. No alcohol beyond 3.2 beer sold in grocery stores. I recently read they gave the cast of "Cheers" 3.2 beer during filming because of the low alcohol content it was safe to drink without producers worrying about a sloshed cast. That's right. A prop used to keep people from getting drunk is the only type of swill we're allowed to buy in grocery stores. It's time to actually be better than TX and at least let us buy liquor on Sundays. This way I wouldn't have to get drunk at a restaurant before and after church.




Derplahomans have all the presets in their car on KTOK so they can get the "truth".  They don't like the president because he's black of his "policies". Derplahomans seem to disregard all logic and let people on FOX News and Conservative Talk Radio make their decisions for them. Derplahomans also elected all three of the fine people above. At least I can drown my political sorrows in whiskey I'll buy this Sunday at Homeland. Shit! Never mind.


severe weather forecast dong


I don't think we need to go into details on this one.


gary england

Gary England Retiring

Gary England retiring are three words I never wanted to type. Mr. England IS Oklahoma weather. He's saved countless lives and him retiring is probably the worst thing on this list. Unless you're David Payne, who has been measuring Gary's office for curtains since he got to Channel 9. We're gonna miss you Gary.



Inferiority Complex

If there's one thing I'm an authority on, it's having an inferiority complex. However, as a city, it's time to get the hell over it. Our liquor laws suck, most our elected officials are horrible and the weather leaves a lot to be desired, but Oklahoma City kicks ass. We've got an amazing basketball team, the most beautiful women anywhere and there's no shortage of things to do anymore. No, we're not as trendy as Austin, but we're also not as obnoxious. We're not Denver, but at least our women wear makeup and we're not a town comprised entirely of stoned hipsters. We're not a lot of places, but what we are is Oklahoma City, and that's a great thing to be. We've got the kindest people anywhere and at the end of the day all the weather issues and awful laws aren't enough to not make this the best city in the nation. So stop feeling bad when you have to explain to out-of-state friends why you live here. This city has been through too much and come too far to let ourselves feel bad. We're great. That's why you live here. Also, thank God we're not Tulsa.


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