As we go into our final week of 2013's Worst of OKC, it's important to thank you for telling us what's the worst. Normally, people hold that information for bad dates, Thanksgiving dinner and the voice in my head. You can't fix something until you recognize the problem.
Speaking of problems, here's the people who are winning last week's categories:
• Worst Morning Radio Crew: Jack & Ron-98.9 KISS FM
• Worst Douchebag: Big Chief
• Worst OKC Politician: Sally Kern
• Worst person to Follow on Social Media: Abigail Ogle
• Worst Public Enemy of the OKC Thunder Cult: Patrick Beverley
Polls are still open so go back and relive all the glory of last week. Vote for the worst. It's what my family does every presidential election.
Anyway, here are today's nominations for Worst Place to Shop, or as we call it internally, "Businesses That Will Never Advertise With Us."
-
Hobby Lobby
Hobby Lobby thinks pills cause abortions. Hobby Lobby is a business that makes millions of dollars off scrap books, dried flowers and a bunch of other malarky that fuels a false sense of "creativity." They also sell cheap candy and styrofoam balls.
-
Mathis Brothers
Mathis Brothers is-HI! Welcome to Mathis Brothers! I'm Gary! What can I help you with today?- Nothing. I'm just trying to write a- Well I'll walk with you!- No. I'm good. I'm just gonna- What kind of couch are you looking for?- Couch? I don't need a couch. I'm just going to- Come on! Certainly you have an idea!- Look. Just leave me alone and let me write. I'm just going to- Well I can't give you a card, but here's my card! You need ANYTHING you let me know!- Ok. I will. Anyway, why are you still following me, Gary?- Just want to make sure I'm here if you need me.- Please stop following me- Ok! Sounds good! Have a good day. -You too- Hi, I'm Carol!...
That's why.
-
Old Paris Flea Market
Maybe you like to spend your Saturdays perusing the waves of people you're sure you saw on Jerry Springer. Maybe you like to spend a lot of money on not so rare vinyl, "water pipes" or dragon statues. Personally I'd rather not spend my Saturday trying to avoid contracting MRSA or getting a knife put in me.
-
The Outlet Shoppes of Oklahoma City
The Outlet Shoppes are built for people who are unaware the internet is a thing. There isn't one item you can get at the outlet shops you can't find online. It's crowded because of the awesome cross section of culture it provides. Throw a NIKE store and a Michael Kor's store in the same complex and just wait for social tension so thick you can cut it with a switchblade.
-
Whole Foods
The only thing missing from the above picture is super fit Chesapeake babes (Chesa-babes) and half stoned hippies you can find any time of day Whole Foods is open. Sometimes you date a super fit hot Edmond girl who loves going to Whole Foods. Then, before you know it, you're forking over $45 for a salad and some damn thing that looks like wheat germ and tastes like socks. As long as there are gullible people, there will be $9 pineapples. Well played Whole Foods. Well played.
-
