2013 Worst of OKC: Worst Anchorwoman

This is an odd position to be in. I'm not one who can afford to speak ill of even the least attractive , talentless, women in the city (I call them 'Lady Joels'). I mean, it doesn't stop me from doing so but it certainly isn't a credible assessment. Now I have to write about five women who are smart, attractive, and have awesome jobs. I see now why Patrick opted to have me do this.

Here are your nominees for Worst Anchorwoman

• Meg Alexander
• Linda Cavanaugh
• Robin Marsh
• Jessica Schambach
• Amanda Taylor

So good luck to our nominees! I hope you don't become the worst? I don't know how this works. As with any time I'm around women, I don't know what to say.

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Meg Alexander
KFOR Channel 4

Meg seems to be the David Payne to Linda Cavanaugh's Gary England. All the elements are there but it's just not the same. She reminds me of the lady the brings her kid's fundraiser catalog to the office an expects every one to buy a $15 Christmas tin of chocolate covered peanuts. Mmmm. Peanuts.

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Linda Cavanaugh
KFOR Channel 4

Linda Cavanaugh is like the sweet aunt you never want to talk bad about but wouldn't want to live with if you had to because her cheery disposition would probably get on your nerves after a while. During "Trash or Treasure" she actually makes people feel the piece of flower covered, duck shaped, garbage they hauled into the studio, clearly worth nothing, is still a fantastic treasure. No one leaves that segment unhappy. I think that makes her the worst at being mean.

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Robin Marsh
KWTV Channel 9

Robin Marsh might be ok at reading a prompter but it's her "God, Girls and Getting Connected: Spiritual Apps for a Teen Life" book she co-authored with Lauren Nelson that really pushes her over the top. "Teen girls are constantly told it's what they do or how they look that brings joy in life. There's more than that to life." Well thank you, woman from the TV and former Miss America. Personal beliefs shouldn't dictate one's professional capabilities, though. So watch this interview with Robin. Dang. She hawks her book there too. Well, at least her and Stan "The Man" Miller have a couple of laughs in that awkward way you laugh when your boss tells an unfunny joke. Patrick's familiar with that sound.

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Jessica Schambach
KOCO Channel 5

I'm not sure how long Schambach's contract is at KOCO but it seems like she's been there for as long as I can remember, which is about two years. Total. I will say she's a nice counterbalance to Paul Folger's "10pm Indifference Parade". She at least acts interested in what the story is. Also, being gorgeous doesn't hurt the ol' eyeballs. That's for sure. What say you now, teen girls? Go talk to Robin Marsh. She has a book she'll charge you for if you feel bad about yourself.

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Amanda Taylor
KWTV Channel 9

She reads the news ok I guess. She's attractive and I'm sure nice and even "saved" a kid from drowning once in the Northpark Mall fountain. However, a combination of these things does not make for a dynamic newswoman. I'm not sure why. It just seems like she's pretty enough to get the job and can kind of work with a teleprompter so she's just fine at Channel 9.

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