Back in January, we published some Facebook posts left by angry Derplahomans on KFOR NewsChannel 4's Facebook Wall regarding Obama's inauguration. If you don't know what a Derplahoman is (or if you are one), here's the definition I gave for this class of humanoid:
You know who Derplahomans are. They’re those stupid, ignorant people who think Obama is Muslim communist dictator, want prayer (and guns) allowed in public schools, and think gay people are the biggest threat to the country. They live around you, work around you, and vote for all the bat-shit crazies that run this state.
Basically, Derplahomans are low IQ simpletons that have an uncontrollable and unreasonable hatred for Obama. They hate the way he walks, the way he breathes, and have it embedded in their minds that he wants to systematically destroy America with his Kenyan born socialistic jihad philosophy. They also own a bunch of guns. Comforting, huh?
The Derplahoman nation went into a brief hibernation following Obama's inauguration. Sure, your uncle would occasionally post a link from Drudge Report to his Facebook Wall about Obama wanting to replace God with Mohammed in the Pledge of Allegiance, or how Benghazi was an inside job orchestrated by the CIA to kill Christians and capitalists, but other than that, they were pretty quiet. Then on Sunday all hell broke loose.
In case you missed it, Barack Hussein Obama, the President of the United States of America and the most powerful man in the world, visited Moore to survey destruction, console victims, thank volunteers and first responders, and consult with local leaders following the devastating May 20th tornado. The visit lasted only a few hours and local news stations hyped it on Facebook. This gave the Derplahoman army a chance to pounce.
Here's a random sampling of the most bizarre comments they left on Channel 9's Facebook page. Just like the article we posted on Obama's inauguration, the comments prove there are a lot of crazy people out there and that there's nothing Obama can do to win them over. They always find some way to hate him, criticize him or wish his plane would crash:
Of course, Derplahomans have a good reason to pray for the death of our president. He is, after all, the Antichrist:
And an Antichrist with a hardcore Islamic agenda:
If Obama is going to be an Islamic AntiChrist, he might as well be a dictator, too:
And a loser...
Or looser. Whatever. He also has no honor and is a liar:
And a traitor:
Oops. Pardon me, he's a Kenyan traitor! I need to get my Obama paranoia myths straight. I wish someone would explain all this to me in writing that doesn't included occasional bouts of ALL CAPS.
Wow, what I would give to be a fly on the wall when Joshua Lozier told the secret service about Obama being an Islamic Anti-Christ Dictator Traitor Liar Looser. If only he knew Obama's history as a gun running homosexual:
The Derplahomans have really created quite a president here. Please remember, though, their over-the-top, irrational and sensationalized hatred of Obama has nothing to do with his skin color:
No, you and the eight people who liked your post are not racist...at all. Just thought I'd let you know.
To their credit, not all Derplahomans were so brazen with their dislike for everything Obama; some tried to justify their disapproval for the Socialist Kenyan Ax-Murdering Dictator (and loving father of two) being in the Sooner State. They were divided into several camps. The first was the group who knew this whole visit was nothing but a calculated PR stunt and photo opportunity:
Yes, Obama wanted to make this whole thing about him in order to boost his chances at winning an elusive third term. These people should look into becoming private investigators or detectives. Also, good call on the mingling with commoners (tornado victims). Obama is like a regular old Margaery Tyrell...only he was born in Kenyan with a silver spoon in his mouth.
Since this was such an incredible PR opportunity, Obama naturally stayed in Moore for several days and tried to milk this tragic scene for all its worth.
Oh, he left earlier than scheduled. Since this was such a calculated PR move, wouldn't he have stayed longer? Or better yet, helped with the relief efforts?
Hell yeah, if you're going to exploit the tornado victims for your own gain, you better put on some work gloves and get to work. In fact, why'd it take Obama a week to get here!
Yes, a true president would have been in the Moore the next day...because it's so easy for a President to get around and do things. He doesn't have to worry about bat shit crazy people in Oklahoma taking his life or anything. He can just book a flight on Expedia.com and get here in six hours (he better fly coach). And when he's around, nobody except for the guy who drives the airport shuttle will notice the most powerful man in the world is in town. It won't interrupt the flow of rescue and relief efforts. Everything will continue to go on as planned. Right?
Oh, so having the President in town is apparently a big deal. I had no clue. The local authorities and secret service agents cut off access to streets and stuff. I guess that means it's good Obama waited five days. Of course, we all know he shouldn't have been here at all because of the cost. That was a big concern for other Derps:
Yes, the Antichrist Barack Hussein Obama has Derplahomans in such a swirl that they're now thanking federal agencies like FEMA in Facebook posts criticizing the president. I bet tomorrow Brenda is going to write about how much she loves bread but hates toast.
Well, it really isn't costing him anything. That's kind of how the presidential gig works. You're the most powerful, loved, and hated man in the world. The future of our nation and the whole human race can quite literally rest in your hands...and yet we only pay you $400,000 a year. That's a lot, but not that much. It's about the same salary Aubrey McClendon paid his cronies on the Chesapeake board. So take the plane around the country. Be happy.
But that doesn't matter. Obama should have stayed in D.C. and read the Koran, Mein Kampf and Socialism for Dummies. He then could have used the savings to donate to relief efforts:
Most of my replies to these posts were ad hominem and satirical in nature. That's because you can't have a reasonable debate with people who believe the right-wing mythology that our president is some sort tyrannical attention hound who wants to destroy America by ending wars, giving more people access to healthcare, and watching the stock market soar to record heights. I'd rather make fun of them or point out their idiocy instead.
Unfortunately, Brad makes a point that I'm sure some rational people agree with. Why do presidents visit disaster areas, or small towns where crazed gunman shoot up a school or movie theatre? What Brad fails to realize is the president is also the official "Mourner in Chief." This tragedy left an emotional toll on people far beyond our borders. Just like you and just like me, they watched the scene unfold at Plaza Towers Elementary School. They saw the photo of the old white man bear-hugging the little black boy. They cried when that woman spotted her schnauzer buried in the rubble (and complained when the stupid reporter didn't immediately stop to help). Having the president come to the scene of a tragedy and offer words of support is just something we do as a nation. It helps us recover. It's America's way of saying we support you, we're thinking of you, and we have your back. Unless, of course, you hate the president more than The Big Band Theory. Wait. These Derplahomans probably like the Big Bang Theory. Now I'm really confused.
Anyway, I don't want to give Derplahomans all the glory. For every two or three crazy anti-Obama posts, there were some articulate Oklahomans with well-versed responses:
Okay, bad example. Here are a couple of better ones:
Well said, guys.
