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10 Thunder Playoff Observations Paired With Depressing Grunge Songs From The 1990s…

10:45 AM EDT on May 16, 2013

Thunder Grizzlies Basketball

Well, that sucked. You can't say we didn't see it coming. I know we all hoped the Thunder could advance in the playoffs without Westbrook, but that's all it was; a hope. Deep down, we could see this team was in over its head. They didn't have the depth, system, flexibility or composure to beat a upper-echelon team in a 7-game series.

Since everyone's probably mopey, sad and gloomy this morning, I thought it would be fitting to match some Thunder playoff observations with depressing grunge-era songs from the 1990s. Not only is it great therapy, but maybe it will piss of Macklemore and all his fellow trolls from Seattle. I love being passive aggressive.

Here we go:

1. Hearing About Russell Westbrook's Knee Injury

Song: "Fell on Black Days"

Band: Soundgarden

Pertinent Lyrics: "What'soever I've feared has come to life..."

I guess you can sign me up for the "I know it's shitty that it took a freak injury to make realize this, but I now fully appreciate Russell Westbrook's basketball ability and importance to the Oklahoma City Thunder" support group. I promise not to criticize him ever again...at least until he takes a 20-foot pull up jumper with 18-seconds left on the shot clock.

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2. Serge Ibaka's Cold Shooting

Song: Down In A Hole

Band: Alice in Chains

Pertinent Lyrics: "Down in a hole, feelin' so small. Down in a hole, losin' control."

After he missed that game tying lay-up in Houston, Serge's confidence and jump shot fell into a deep dark cauldron of dispair and sadness. You could see it on his face. Hopefully he'll be able to pull himself out of it by the start of next season.

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3. Kevin Martin's Disappearing Act

Song: Any Creed Song

Band: Creed

Pertinent Lyrics: Any lyrics by Creed

I couldn't think of a song depressing enough to describe K-Mart's playoff performance. Instead, just pick any shitty song by the shittiest "grunge" band of all time.

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4. Kendrick Perkins Doing Anything

Song: The Big Empty

Band: Stone Temple Pilots

Pertinent Lyrics: "Too much walking shoes worn thin. Too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin. 

I know the media will say Kendrick plays good defense and sets quality screens, which I'm sure he does, but those two assets are off-set by the bone headed plays, turnovers, and a post up game that's uglier than Jim Traber.

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5. Kevin Durant Being Quadruple Teamed

Song: "Wonderwall"

Band: Oasis

Pertinent Lyrics: "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you. By now you shoulda somehow, realized what you gotta do. 

Technically not a grunge song, but who cares. Kevin Durant can't do anything wrong. After all, he's our Wonderwall.

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6. Scott Brooks' Coaching Decisions

Song: Nutshell

Band: Alice In Chains

Pertinent Lyrics: "We chase misprinted lies. We face the path of time. And yet I fight...and yet I fight...This battle all alone.  No one to cry to.  No place to call home."

Okay, so maybe those lyrics are more about heroin addiction than bad coaching. I went with this song because my original choice – Man in the Box – wasn't depressing enough. You need a really sad song to summarize some of the decisions Brooks made in the Memphis series, and the most depressing song by the most depressing band of the grunge era is a good one to go with.

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7. Kevin Durant Not Being Able To Close Down The Stretch

Song: Over Now

Band: Alice In Chains

Pertinent Lyrics: "Yeah, it's over now, but I can breathe somehow."

For the Thunder to beat the Grizzlies, they needed "Kid Clutch" to live up to his nickname. He didn't.

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I selected three songs for the most upsetting part of the playoffs...

8. Watching James Harden Play for the Rockets:

A. For the Heartbroken Thunder Fan

Song: Black

Artist: Pearl Jam

Pertinent Lyrics: "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life. I know you'll be a sun... in somebody else's sky, but why, why, why can't it be...can't it be mine?"

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B. For the Bitter Thunder Fan...

Song: You Oughta Know

Artist: Alanis Morissette

Pertinent Lyrics: "And I'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away..."

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C. For the Blame Thunder Management and Ownership

Song: The Man Who Sold The World

Artist: Nirvana

Pertinent Lyrics: "For years and years I roamed. I gazed a gazeless stare at all the millions here."

I guess you can say I have a bit of all three in me.

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