Emily Sutton officially started her new career today as the regular morning meteorologist for KFOR Channel 4. She'll be on the air each weekday from 4:00am - 7:00am. We know this because Channel 4 has been playing the following promo commercial non-stop for about a week. It makes you say "awwwwwwwwwwwww" more than your friend Jessica (a.k.a. the annoying girl at a baby shower):
Uhm, is Channel 4 trying to imply that Emily Sutton's dream in life is to wake up at 2:00am each morning to give the weather forecast in Oklahoma City? That's a little premature isn't it? They should have saved that clip for when Mike Morgan retires and Emily dons the bedazzled weather dress. Or are they saying that Emily is finally fulfilling her dream of being a TV meteorologist? If that's what they're doing, doesn't it totally discount Emily's contributions over the past 3 years? Was her other work not that important? Am I being too analytical? Probably so.
Anyway, Emily has been promoting writing about the new gig on Facebook and it's brought out some of the creepy crawlies. And I'm not talking about the ones who post pictures of her in a bikini behind the thinly veiled pseudo-anonymity of the internet. I'm talking the creepy crawlies who live in a world where Emily Sutton is like a best friend and post awkward, sitting-too-close comments on her Facebook Page.
Here are 20 of my favorites.
To lead things off, we have anti-punctuation and -capitalization guys:
And ALL CAPS lady:
There were people who planned sleepovers:
And those who lived in Randy Norman
Some wives are totally fine with Emily Sutton being their husband's mistress:
While others figured she was engaged:
Here's a solid string of 9 comments. They fit and flowed together like bad pop music:
Finally, there was this lady:
After reading all those comments. maybe young Emily Sutton should have wished to be a National Weather Service meteorologist. People who watch and Ogle you on TV can be a little creepy. Just ask Gary England.
• Since we're making fun of Facebook commenters, you guys and gals need to pick things up or this one. If you're going to write a comment about Emily, it needs to be written in the form of a question in the voice of Regular Jim Traber or Paul Folger. That should be fun.