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Someone stole a giant panda balloon from…

3:30 AM EDT on August 4, 2011

Normally, I would never condone a senseless act of thievery and mischief. Then again, not every act of thievery and mischief involves a panda balloon. From NewsOK:

Where do you hide a 25-foot panda balloon?

That's what the balloon company wants to know.

Duer Balloons & Promotions is offering a $200 reward for information about a giant panda balloon stolen from atop the building at Interstate 35 and Second Street on or around July 27.

Dana Crawford, Duer executive assistant, said balloons such as the missing panda cost between $5,000 and $7,000.

She said thieves may have taken the balloon as a prank, but the heist is grievous because of the cost of the inflatable and the fact that it was stolen off church property...

She said the missing balloon is black and white.

Geeze, is there anything won't do to lure in new members? As if the giant cross and cheesy Christian-themed rock n' roll music isn't enough, now they are placing giant Pandas on their roof to get attention. Oh well, if I raked in millions of dollars a year and didn't have to pay any taxes on it, I'd probably rent a huge giant panda balloon, too. Who wouldn't, right?

In fact, maybe this would be a good time to buy a giant Panda balloon. I will graciously offer, uhm, $250 for any information on where I can successfully buy one. And if you can also help me land either a giant koala or giant midget balloon, I'll pay you double. That's a steal for you.

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