The Lost Ogle is sad to report that News Channel 4 — and the ridiculously named "Freedom 43" — anchor and reporter Lance "Danger" West is no longer with us. Bow your head and watch the video:
Lance West is cool and everything, but once you make a big deal about getting your spine fused together, you pretty much lose the right to use the nickname "Danger." According to Clark Matthews, spinal surgeries are simple procedures on par with getting a cavity filled or a testicular exam.
Since Lance West can no longer claim "Danger" as a nickname, perhaps a more proper one would be Lance "Fusion" West, Lance "I'm Getting Old" West or Lance "Regular" West. Seriously, the guy is now sending tweets about how he finally took "an unassisted trip to the pottie." If your nickname is Danger, the only time you're allowed to use the word pottie is when you're talking to a three-year old or a dog.
Anyway, we wish Lance "Regular" West a speedy and full recovery from a very simple and basic medical procedure. Also, this is obviously a big opportunity for Ed Doney. In the video, you could see in his eyes that he enjoyed seeing Lance all smiley and happy in a hospital gown. Expect Ed to go sky diving and drink some toilet water very soon. This is his time to shine.