As Clark Griswold would say, "Tis the season . . . do you see any lines, Rusty?"
And, as you make your way back to see the folks, get invaded by relatives, or sit there alone wondering what interesting people do while you're putzing around on Facebook, remember that there's a refuge in your old trusty buddy, the television. Between the heavily-edited lineup of cable network offerings and Netflix, you can probably find most of these Ogle-approved holiday standbys. Together with a case of Pabst, these stories can get you through any Christmas, and any replay of the dysfunctional family drama that is the typical American Christmas.
10. Holiday Inn (1942): Bing Crosby makes happy melodies at a night club that is only open on holidays, while wondering how Fred Astaire keeps stealing his girlfriends (hint, Bing: being a good dancer is more, ah, impressive than being a good singer at the end of the night). Brought us the song White Christmas, the movie remake White Christmas, and a chain of budget hotels named Holiday Inn. And, just to show how things have changed since the good ol' days, here's a scene deleted from the version AMC is airing: Bing Crosby performs on Lincoln's birthday in blackface:
Ah, America the way it used to be. Why wouldn't anyone want to go back to those simpler, gentler, kinder times when people were polite and racism was facially obvious?
9. It's a Wonderful Life (1946): Frank Capra, always one to engage uplifting topics like death, suicide, bankruptcy, and the role of sinister forces manipulating little people, rolls it all up into one Christmas Eve treat for Jimmy Stewart (George Bailey), who gets to see how the world would exist without him. Makes me imagine It's a Wonderful Life: Sally Kern Makeover Edition . . . "Every time a bell rings, a homosexual goes straight to Hell." Here's the happy end to this long, depressing, preachy movie: