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Ouch. Lose Up to Nine Inches at Rejuvena. Ouch.

7:13 PM EDT on October 5, 2009

'Tis always fun to read the advertising in the Oklahoma Gazette. There are concert promotions, massage parlor advertisements, lots of boobs, and, of course, the advertisements for cosmetic body improvement. To that end, as my son E. T. (Eliot Too) and I were hanging out at the Red Cup on North Classen the other Wednesday, he kicks me in the leg. "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

Now, I'm reading an article on page 9 about some IT guy from who has decided to live in a tent until December. The Gazette is always good for this kind of piece. Anyhow, I figure he just wants his omelet, but E. T. kicks me again and says "Daddy, why's there pictures of a bunch of peckers in the newspaper?"

Now, it's the Gazette, so most anything is possible. For all I know, it's just a picture of Falcon Five-O jamming to their most-down-loaded single, "I Suck", so I decide to just play along.


"Right there! Two big peckers!" E. T. insists, pointing to the back of my Gazette. So I flip my paper around to the page facing him, page 8. And what is facing me in the middle of the page but these:


Judge for yourself.  When I looked, there they were: two "peckers", one a little more shrunk than the other. The fact that the headline says "Lose Up To Nine Inches" doesn't help much either, because now we're definitely in chop-shop country. Ouch.

The advertisement is for a cosmetic medical center called Rejuvena, and the advertisement is supposed to be a before/after of some guy's back and gut who has undergone treatment by Dr. Joan M. Hardt, M.D., the person you call "when experience counts." Those are the words in the ad, not our impression based on looking at her photo in the ad. Gotta say though, that head of big red eighties hair enhances the Rene Russo thing she's got going on:


Dr. Joan M. Hardt, you need to talk to your layout and design guy for your ads, but otherwise, don't go changing. We love you just the way you are.

PS: An Ogle Mole says the advertisement got past the Gazette's intrepid quality control editors again this week, so look for it again on Wednesday.  It'll be sticking out from somewhere between all the cleavage ads for the strip clubs.

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