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F*cktards to March on Norman This Friday

8:00 PM EDT on September 17, 2009

westboro

Thought the weekend freak show was confined to the Oklahoma State Fair Grounds?  Nope.   The Crypt of the Walking F*cktards known as the Westboro Baptist Church have decided to take a trip down I-35 to Norman on the afternoon of Friday, September 18.  We've talked about them before (see here and here), and even though we probably shouldn't, we're about to talk about them again.

No, they're not going to the Mile of Cars, or even to Suger's. And, they are not content to picket soldier funerals or high schools in the liberal bastion of Moore, Oklahoma. They are picketing the OU Hillel Student Center, where young Jewish students at OU will be exercising their First Amendment right to, well, to the free exercise of religion. According to their website, "WBC has looked at the faces of these pushy, arrogant, God-hating brat Jews and they are stinking up the atmosphere with their rotten figgishness."

Did I mention that these Westboro protesters are a bunch of walking f*cktards?

Anyhow, according to the OU student paper The Oklahoma Daily, the Westboro parishioners "will protest their celebration of Rosh Hashana, the celebration of the Jewish New Year, from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. Friday. A posting on the Westboro Baptist Church Web site states that members of the church will protest at Hillel at that time on Friday, and then will stage three protests in Oklahoma City." The Tulsa Game is Saturday, so come down to Norman on Friday for a warm-up. Students are planning counter-demonstrations, and if you want to be part of the fun, Hillel is located at the corner of Elm and Boyd on the north side of campus, conveniently between The Library Bar to the west and the In The Raw sushi bar on University. Come to the protest, then go to happy hour and enjoy the ambiance of Campus Corner on a fall afternoon.

Now, if you decide to go counter-protest the "parishioners" of the Westboro Baptist Church, please follow a few rules to stay out of the Cleveland County Jail, which is conveniently located between Campus Corner and Coach's on Main:

1. Make noise, but don't get angry. Anger is their best friend. Think of the "parishioners" of Westboro Baptist Church as being a zombie retarded version of a tea-party-birther-health-care-protester who wants to keep the government out of their Medicare (which is a government program, by the way). REASON WILL NOT WORK. Make noise. BOOMER! SOONER! WESTBORO! SUCKS!

2. Flash back to the "˜80s: Do the Wave around them.

3. Do not attempt to reason with a Fucktard. It is like trying to knock out a drunk in a fight -- can't be done. Instead, unreason with them. Laugh. Be happy! And make sure you tell them "l'chaim, y'all" as they walk by.

4. Don't throw anything. That's assault.

5. Direct them to the Angelina Jolie-nursing-twins statue, then ask if they've ever met Judge Bill Graves.

6. Ladies, flash your boobs. It will add to the Mardi Gras atmosphere of Norman!

UPDATE!

On advice from my liver, we are encouraging all counterprotesters to go directly to The Library on Boyd Street and hang out on the patio.  You can see the lonely f*cktard show from there!

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