The North Koreans leaders are doing everything they can to ensure that the US and the Japanese turn their little hermit kingdom into a great place to harvest glass. So, before our cold war turns hot (you did know that we are in an active state of war with North Korea, right?) I figured we'd better pay homage to those things that, unfortunately, make North Korea better than Oklahoma.
However...there is one thing in Oklahoma that is definitely better than North Korea. Whether you're in Tulsa or OKC, you've probably made a pass through one of the McNellie's. Now, even though a McNellie's has a very high douche bag potential, the beer is cold, the food is worth the trip, and both the service and company is, well, attractive. If we're gonna discuss ways North Korea is better than Oklahoma, we need to discuss why a McNellie's Pub is better than North Korea - and there are a lot of reasons why McNellie's is better than North Korea.
North Korea is Better Than Oklahoma Because They Can Make Nuclear Weapons: The North Koreans have consistently pursued weapons of mass destruction, including constructing a nuclear power facility to produce fissionable material. The nearest nuclear weapon production facility to Oklahoma is in Amarillo, Texas. We don't even have a nuclear reactor, and given the GOP trend in this state, I doubt the Obama administration will let us have one any time soon. God forbid for the Democrats that Oklahoma go nuclear. The nearest thing Oklahoma has produced like a nuclear bomb is probably the movie "Beer For My Horses."
McNellie's Pub is Better than North Korea Because It's Owned By A Guy Named Eliot(t): Elliott Nelson is a Tulsa entrepreneur who is trying to make aggressive moves in the food service industry. I just wish he'd learn to spell his name right. With McNellie's he has a hit - D's and R's and journalists all like the place in OKC, which should help us keep liquor excluded from systematic GOP efforts to eradicate fun in Oklahoma. Kim Jong-Il, meanwhile, is a total douche.
North Korea is Better Than Oklahoma Because North Koreans Have Way Cooler Uniforms Than The Oklahoma Highway Patrol: The one thing I learned growing up on Saint Kitts, watching James Bond movies, is that the Commies had great uniforms. Now, really, would you rather get pulled over by guys dressed like this, or take directions from the stylish and glamorous Democratic People's Republic of Korea Highway Patrol? Then, of course, there are the DPRK Army Babes . . .