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Fred in the Lion’s Den

12:01 AM EST on March 2, 2009

This might surprise some people, but I attend a weekly bible study on Monday nights.  Two weeks ago, the study involved us reading a couple of chapters from Leviticus which, for those who are un-churched, is filled with the laws of the Ancient Jewish society.  Among the laws I read about were:

    • (18:19)  You shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness while she is in her menstrual uncleanness.
    • (18:22)  You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
    • (19:9-10)  When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very edges of your field, or gather the gleanings of your harvest.  You shall not strip your vineyard bare, or gather the fallen grapes of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and the alien: I am the Lord your God.
    • (19:13b)  You shall not keep for yourself the wages of a labourer until morning.
    • (19:19)  You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your animals breed with a different kind; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed; nor shall you put on a garment made of two different materials.
    • (19:33-34)  When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

The penalty for all these crimes was being "cut off from (your) people."  In today's society, I see little shunning based on having sex with a woman on her period (although that is gross), or when farmers fail to open their fields to immigrants and homeless people.  There aren't protest marches related to bi-weekly payroll processing or against stores selling shirts made of blended fabric.  And Randy Terrill not only goes without punishment, but he gets re-elected for crusading against Mexicans.

One of those laws, though, is not forgotten.  While most of the other directives listed in Leviticus have been relegated to "ideally" or "optional" status, the decree against homosexual relations has been labeled as the eleventh commandment.  Several denominations, not to mention a political movement, believe that this single line of scripture is the most pressing issue of our time.

This belief has spawned a minion of goons, led by a jackass named Fred Phelps, to create the Westboro Baptist Church.  The WBC is no known so much for their "biblical teachings", but more for their rally cry of "God Hates Fags" and their proclivity of showing up to funerals of homosexuals slaughtered by bigots.  Because, really, if you can't stand up on behalf of cold blooded murderers, who can you defend?

Phelps' squad of hate mongers must have bored themselves of just ticking off liberals, because during the war in Iraq, they expanded their scope to include funerals for slain soldiers.  In their "logic", they concluded that American soldiers were dying because God was punishing our nation for the sin of homosexuality.  I guess that makes sense, but you really have to want it.

Today, the group looks to upset everyone regardless of political leaning as they approach a new front.  They are going to picket Moore High School.  Why?  Who knows.  Maybe they believe Moore alum Toby Keith's machismo act is just a shielding technique.  Maybe they just threw a dart at a map and it hit that intersection.  Regardless, they will subject their douche baggery on the undeserving teenagers whose concerns on a normal day revolve around whether they can get home in time to hide the cell phone bill from their parents.

So, when you're praying to the God of Abraham that Phelps claims to be serving, make a mention of those poor Moore Lions who could really use some of His protection today.

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