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Dean Blevins Is Unreadable, Homoerotic

10:24 AM EDT on July 2, 2007

After facing intense scrutiny from, Dean Blevins finally updated his web site this month, and I don't know what is more striking, the absolutely horrific writing or the fact that he barely even attempts to cover up his crush on tennis star Rafael Nadal.

You can read it all here, but good luck making it through the entire piece. The whole thing sounds like he looked up every word in the thesaurus. It's almost impossible to pick the single worst sentence in the whole piece, but I think I'll go with this one:

It was a convincing 3-1 win over a giant of the game who is but one French title of being called the greatest player to toss a furry pellet in the air.

Seriously, Deano, you are trying too hard. Also, he refers to Roger Federer as "Fedeher" throughout the article. Is this some sort of too-clever-by-half insult? Is it possible that he really doesn't know Federer's name?

And what to make of his obvious attraction to Rafael Nadal? These are all actual things that Dean Blevins wrote about the tennis star:

His sweat-drenched biceps look more like a body builder than a Love Thirty ball tosser.

Aggressive.....this guy. Penetrates like LeBron en route to the hoop.

Yes, it was hot and the ball kicked up higher. But that was no excuse as the ''powerful prowler'' kicked King Rogs' hiny for the third straight time...

Is it me, or does this sound more like one of those romance novels with Fabio on the cover than sports commentary? Never in my life have I heard the word "penetrates" in association with tennis. I hope his wife knows about this.

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