TLO 4th of July Event Guide

With this year’s Independence Day falling on a very unlikable Tuesday, Oklahoma City and her surrounding neighbors will be celebrating America’s birthday in damn-near the middle of the week, which is always the worst time to celebrate anyone’s birthday. Invite the entire office to Chili’s for a Wednesday birthday and it’s only Linda from accounting who’s down to split a plate of Southwestern eggrolls and even she bails after 15 minutes.

Why not just treat the thing like Halloween and have it on a Saturday night?

Either way, if after a long, hard day of work—because no one’s giving you a four-day weekend—and being angry at the bank being closed on a Tuesday, you feel the need to drag a flimsy lawn-chair out to some mosquito and chigger infested park to watch a fireworks show that lasts ten minutes and a traffic jam that lasts an hour, here’s five FREE celebrations going down in the city that you and your loved ones can pretend to give a damn about. ¡Cómpralo ya!

News 9 milked Lacey Swope’s departure for all it’s worth…

Well, it finally happened.

News 9 Severe Weather Babe Lacey Swope has left Oklahoma City for the far distant land of Tulsa. It’s something we told you was going to happen six months ago.

Because they enjoy Facebook likes, retweets and WordPress page views as much as we do, News 9 milked the story it for all it’s worth. They gave Lacey a rare TV news send off reserved only for legendary local television weather deities and pretty girls moving to a sister-station located 100 miles up a turnpike.

The ratings celebration started on Monday with the unveiling of the #GoodByeLacey hashtag. Things then kicked into high gear on Tuesday with what seemed like a series of hourly social media remembrances and tribute videos:

5 better things to do instead of watching fireworks on the 4th…

It’s been a tradition to launch fireworks in America since the very first celebration of our independence against England. For most people, it’s a must-do to watch the local display every 4th of July. But it’s also kinda boring. I’ve seen a few good fireworks shows in my day, but most of them are exactly the same. You can expect a lot of bad, sappy patriotic country music to be piped through the loud speakers, and the same ol’ exploding shells of colorful gunpowder over and over. There’s gonna be a big ring with other ones going through it. Some will whistle and then pop at the last second. Don’t forget about the crackly ones that fizzle out. At the end, they’re gonna realize they still have a shitload of leftover fireworks and they’ll launch them all off at the same time.

If you’ve seen one fireworks show, you’ve seen em all. Either way, your social media feeds will be logjammed with people’s blurry pictures that do absolutely nothing to portray the experience. If you’re like me, which is to say excessively cynical, you’re already looking for something else to do on Independence Day than watch the same firecrackers you’ve seen your whole life. Here are 5 other options for you:

Burn some Kevin Durant merch

Uh oh. Taylor Swift likes Russell Westbrook.

Last night, Russell Westbrook’s 2017 “Why Not?” Redemption Tour came to a triumphant and expected close when he was named league MVP during the live shitshow known as the 2017 NBA Awards.

Celebrities, fans and even weak sauce turncoat traitors hopped on social media to pay due respect. This includes pop superstar and serial dater Taylor Swift. She climbed out of a bush to leave this video message for the new real MVP…

Bricktown Hot Dog Stand Tweet Ignites Social Media Police Outrage

As the metro’s leading obscure local social blog, we take great pride in covering the dumb, ridiculous local news stories that even traditional media outlets will not dare touch. So when word gets around town that a tweet from a local hot dog stand pissed off overly sensitive people on the internet, OKC residents know where to turn first…

Last night, @HOTDOGOKC – the social media account for a Bricktown hot dog cart – came under attack by the local sensitivity police for tweeting a pic of a “misogynistic” t-shirt it sells to customers. Check it out: