The lady pictured above is Clara Aguirre. According to this amusing KFOR report, she attempted to rob a Braum’s with a hammer.
Well, it looks common sense isn’t doing so good.
Last week, we told you the great news about the folks at Friendly Market being found not guilty on felony charges of “acquiring proceeds from drug activity” and multiple counts of “possession of drug paraphernalia.” The jury came to the verdict because:
A) The bongs, pipes, rolling papers and fake cigarette one-hitters the Friendly Market sold can also be used to smoke tobacco (wink wink).
B) You can also smoke weed out of objects like Coke cans, apples and aluminum foil to also serve as drug paraphernalia.
Considering this was the fourth time Cleveland County DA Greg Mashburn had failed to secure a guilty verdict in a Friendly Market related trial, you’d think the guy would hop off his moral high horse and let the people be. Naturally, being an Oklahoma politician, he’s doing the exact opposite.
Howdy, pardners! It was a busy weekend, full of graduations, beer festivals, and holidays for mothers. It was the perfect scramble to end a week loaded with unpredictable weather and bonkers local and national politics. In case you need to get caught up on the insanity, we’ve compiled some great #content from Twitter that will help tie it all together:
The Oklahoma House GOP is now trolling us on Twitter
Last week, the State House GOP boasted about how they have three women in leadership positions in the house.
— OKHouseGOP (@GOPHouseOK) May 11, 2017
Yep, you go, Girls. Way to represent! That being said, isn’t Elise Hall the one who blocked gender income equality laws from being heard in the house? The answer is “Yes.”
And one of them blocked wage equality laws for women!!! Rah rah! https://t.co/LC3IFwTf4q
— The Lost Ogle (@TheLostOgle) May 11, 2017
The GOP didn’t appreciate this 100% accurate, fact based observation and responded with what we think was an insult:
Before we get to the gist of this post, I’d like to welcome myself back from a brief trip to Denver. I flew there this week to see family and friends, work, watch some Cubs baseball, conduct business meetings, eat at Snarf’s, work, and purchase weed legally from a store. It was a fun trip!
Despite the best effort of our new license plate to trick people into thinking otherwise, Colorado and Oklahoma don’t have a lot in common. The differences between the two states are so stark and obvious that even an OU football player could come up with a list items for a “Compare and Contrast” essay. For example, one state has majestic mountains and snowy peaks. One state doesn’t. One state has cheap rent. One state doesn’t. One state has a normal, functioning legislature. And, obviously, one state doesn’t.
Check out this article via The Denver Post. It will make you jealous:
On the balcony outside the House chamber, Johnny Cash crooned on the loudspeakers as state lawmakers sipped Colorado wine from plastic cups in the final hours of the 2017 legislative session.
A 1991 cabernet sauvignon in hand, state Rep. Paul Rosenthal raised his cup and offered one word that captured the mood at the Capitol: “Cheers!”
The celebration Wednesday reflected victories for Democratic and Republican legislative leaders on most of their top priorities in the 120-day term — even as two late efforts at compromise failed.
The bipartisan agreements included measures to preserve the hospital provider fee program, avert potentially catastrophic cuts to rural hospitals, find new money for highway construction, increase per-pupil education spending, and make it harder to sue for construction defects.
For each bill, the final result is less than what lawmakers hoped to accomplish but represented significant progress after failing to reach accords for years.
Holy shit! Averting cuts to hospitals? Finding new money for construction? Increasing per-pupil education spending? Maybe it’s time to send our lawmakers to Colorado for a ski trip! It’s amazing to see what lawmakers can accomplish when they’re not slaves to greedy, selfish oil industry overlords and conservative ideological think tanks!
Seriously, though, can our legislatures be any different? In Colorado they’re drinking wine and celebrating a productive legislative session where lawmakers worked together to devise practical solutions to real world problems. Here in Oklahoma they’re just coming up with ways to deport elementary school students who don’t speak English.
Yeah, I guess that was the big national news story out of Oklahoma this week. Via the AP:
My name is Hayley and for some reason Patrick thought it was a good idea to give me this assignment. Welcome to my first post for Friday Night in the Big Town. I still don’t feel cool enough to be writing here (cue repressed memories from my high school experience). So thank you for taking time out of your Friday to scroll through my post and be reassured that the Oklahoma City nightlife has fewer cowboy boot requirements than most people think.
It is fitting that my first time covering Friday Night in the Big Town is my first homework-free weekend in seven years. I am hitting the ground running a week after graduation by penning this post. See, mom and dad! I did find a job with my college degree after all.
I mean, it’s not salary… But a job is a job.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town: