The Oklahoman now has a “lifestyle” magazine…

Earlier this week, The Oklahoman launched a new lifestyle magazine in its latest attempt to stay relevant.

Named The OK, it’s a lot like those other pretty ad-filled magazines that take up space by the front door of your favorite coffee shop, bar or plasma center. You know, magazines like The 405, Oklahoma Magazine, So6ix, Outlook, Ion, Splurge OKC, Edible OKC, OKC Lifestyle, Metro Family Magazine, Territory OKC. Did I forget any?

Here are the details via The Oklahoman:

Welcome to the inaugural issue of The OK. (Like the tree)

In this quarterly magazine we hope to provide our readers a little bit of a lot of things Oklahoma.

People and places. Food and fashion. Travel and technology. And more.

We’ll also bring you stories told in the unique voices of The Oklahoman reporters you’ve come to know and trust. Long-form narratives, in-depth reports, personal columns and tales from our past all aimed at providing unique value to our subscribers.

In all honesty, this really isn’t a bad idea. I don’t know anyone who actual reads a “lifestyle” mag (unless they’re in it), but they always seem to have a bunch of ads in them. Hell, maybe we should start one. We’ll call it The Ogle. We’ll hire some of the Hefner Middle School writers that So6ix uses and then post a bunch of not so flattering photos of people getting sloshed at local wedding receptions, art openings and charity benefits. Who wouldn’t pick that up the next time they’re waiting for a sandwich at City Bites?

Unfortunately – and expectedly – The Oklahoman has already found some ways to screw the whole thing up.

First of all, look no further than the name. The OK breaks several of the 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing, including The Law of the Generic. It states that one of the fastest ways to failure is giving a brand a generic name, and you can’t get any more generic in Oklahoma than “The OK.” Plus, it’s not The OK as in “OKAY.” It’s The OK (like the tree). I guess they were trying to confuse people….

“You know that word nobody in Oklahoma uses to describe or reference Oklahoma? Let’s call it that and confuse everyone!”

To make matters worse, take a look at the old gray-haired fart The Oklahoman put in charge of editing the magazine:

Oklahoma-filmed “Hellraiser: Judgement” trailer is released…

Nearly two years ago, we brought you the news that the next installment in Clive Barker’s ‘Hellraiser’ franchise was being filmed right here in Guthrie, Oklahoma. This was back in 2016, in retrospect a magical time where anything could have happened. Instead, now I’m thinking, ‘What if a bunch of masochistic other-worldly demons took over? We might be better off…”

As a horror fan, this both excited and repulsed me. It’s pretty cool to have one of the most famous horror series shoot a film in your backyard. The flipside of this is that pretty much every single Hellraiser movie after the second ranges from very bad to absolutely unwatchable.

The production studio that owns the rights has been cranking these out every few years just so they can hang onto the rights, which is the dumbest thing. This is the tenth sequel, and even most diehard fans checked out after the fourth or fifth. Why not just make one good movie instead of all these straight-to-video abominations? It’s like opting for a Braum’s Bag ‘O Burgers instead of just getting a juicy one from Nic’s.

Here’s the trailer for the movie:

Unqualified Oklahomans Continue To Seek Employment in Washington DC

Say what you want about the Trump presidency, but it’s been very kind to unqualified men from Oklahoma seeking employment. I thought it would be fun to post an update on some of these men, and see how they’re doing.

First off, we have Oklahoma congressman Jim Bridenstine. The global warming denier was nominated a second time to be the chief administrator of NASA, an agency that he obviously has absolutely no business running. Here are the details via NewsOK:

President Donald Trump on Monday renominated U.S. Rep. Jim Bridenstine to be the next administrator of NASA.

Bridenstine, who was first nominated in early September, saw his nomination returned to the president in late December after the Senate failed to act on it. Trump’s decision to renominate was widely expected.

As we mentioned backed when he was first nominated, Jim Bridenstine’s only experience in dealing with spaceships came when he was director of the Tulsa Air and Space Museum and Planetarium. Knowing that, I bet his first act as NASA chief will be to improve and expand the agency’s gift shop.

It’s impossible to talk about “Unqualified Oklahomans Seeking Employment in DC” without mentioning  Scott Pruitt. Not only is he succeeding in his role of dismantling the EPA as chief of the EPA, but his best friend Albert Kelly – a disgraced former banker from Oklahoma who’s now banned from the industry – is helping him do it.

Via The Intercept:

Christina Fallin is having a baby!

We have learned via the Ogle Mole Network that Christina Fallin – a.k.a. Hipster Boo Boo – the controversial celebutante daughter of Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin is expecting a beautiful thing.

Yeah, that’s right. Hipster Boo Boo will be joining me in the parenthood club in 2018. This state is going downhill faster than we all thought!

Although we don’t know many details about the pregnancy, such as the due date, gender, or whether the birth will take place in a trailer parked at the Governor’s mansion, Christina made the formal announcement to family, friends and area hipsters earlier this week. It’s already the talk of the capitol.

The dad is some guy named Omar Khalil. We don’t know a lot about Omar, the name of his band, or whether or not he’s going to be Christina’s third husband, but here are some pics of the couple vacationing around the world: