It’s no secret that Oklahoma is in the middle of a severe budget crisis that threatens to cripple our state and leave us without even crutches to walk on. With only hours left to go to find a palpable solution, Oklahoma lawmakers are scrambling to fill a $900 million budget shortfall and fund them teacher pay raises as well. While rumors swirled about a compromise earlier yesterday, come press conference time, Dems had reportedly backed out—with good reason, mind you—sending everyone back to the drawing board to come up with an agreement that works, however slightly, for everyone.
And by everyone, that includes some of the more dank denizens that reside at one of my favorite local haunts, Alligator Alley, 4636 NW 10th Street—the premiere reptile per store in Oklahoma City. I stopped by yesterday afternoon and asked a few of the creepy crawly critters their thoughts on this breaking news. Here’s what they had to say…
“First they want to tax my cigarettes and next thing they’ll want to tax my delicious whole live chickens! How about you politicians take a paycheck cut instead? Why is it we always gotta be the ones to suffer?” – Pepper Gilbart, alligator
“We were so close to fixing this nonsense, but then here comes the Dumb-o-crats, whining about this and that like the precious snowflakes they are. Oh, if I was younger I’d hide right under Inman’s toilet tank and just…no…sorry, that’s not Christian of me to say. I just get so in the flesh about this!” – Nigel Jenson, spider