It's time to dim the stadium lights, kneel during the national anthem, and wait until halftime to get some nachos and another beer.
That's right, OGLE MADNESS IS BACK BABYYYYYY! You can check out the full bracket on yesterday's post, but we're gonna get down to business. This bracket will all be played out in a high school gymnasium in Tahlequah.
Here are your match-ups:
(1) Joe Exotic vs (16) Oklahoma County Jail
(8) David Holt vs (9) Oklahoma City City Council
(4) Lu Dort vs (13) Dusty Dvoracek
(5) Emily Virgin vs (12) Breea Clark
Game One:
(1) Joe Exotic
Who: If I have to explain the Tiger King to you, obviously you've either never been to The Lost Ogle or don't have your parent's Netflix account.
Biggest Strength: Becoming an international superstar for being the star of a documentary series about him abusing animals and trying to get somebody murdered and... well, it's a lot, you all know.
Biggest Weakness: Being locked up in federal prison.
vs.
(16) Oklahoma County Jail
Who: The piece of shit rotting building downtown that has leaky pipes and terrible conditions and people die inside
Biggest Strength: Well, it hasn't crumbled to the ground... yet.
Biggest Weakness: Keeping inmates alive.
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Game 2
(8) David Holt
Who: The Tall Cool Thin Young Moderate Mayor of Oklahoma City who takes front and center credit for everything good, but not as much bad, and is basically a tourism salesman for OKC.
Biggest Strength: Strong selfie powers, very good at using social media to let the national media know he's doing good, important work, and that Oklahoma City is indeed a business-friendly, gentrifiedly-golden oasis.
Biggest Weakness: Constantly lamenting that the reasons he can't achieve things citizens ask for is 'Well, that's not my job."
vs.
(9) Oklahoma City City Council
Who: A mixed bag of nine individuals who are either progressive and under 40, or old boring stodgy white dudes.
Biggest Strength: They do seem to genuinely care about their city.
Biggest Weakness: Not a lot of group photos online. Can't they do an Awkward Family Photo version of one?
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Game 3
(4) Lu Dort
Who: Beloved young OKC Thunder player who has been exploding this season
Biggest Strength: Great defensive player who can put up some shots.
Biggest Weakness: He's Canadian.
vs.
(13) Dusty Dvoracek
Who: Former OU player turned ESPN college football commentator turned News 9 Sports Director heir apparent.
Biggest Strength: 136 tackles, 16 sacks, one interception and three fumble recoveries for OU.
Biggest Weakness: Body sweat.
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Game 4
(5) Emily Virgin
Who: Democratic Minority Leader of the Oklahoma House of Representatives.
Biggest Strength: Taking on Derplahoman lawmakers and being a wise breath of fresh air for the left for ten years.
Biggest Weakness: Probably isn't a Qanon supporter, which could cost her an election.
vs.
(12) Breea Clark
Who: The youngest female mayor in Norman history.
Biggest Strength: Defeating the Unite Norman C.H.U.D.S. in an election recall attempt.
Biggest Weakness: The first thing that pops up on her LinkedIn is JCPenny.
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