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You won’t believe what shocking job position The Oklahoman is looking to fill…

kitten

I guess I should begin this post with an apology.

For the most part, we try to avoid writing headlines that are coated in that much clickbait, but today I'm trying to impress the HR Department at The Oklahoman. They are hiring a copywriter who has significant experience in intentionally misleading readers through clickbait.

And no, I'm not making that shit up or exaggerating. They really want someone who can write clickbait headlines for the paper. Get your resume ready, KFOR Social Media Bandit.

Via the PRSA Job Line:

We’re seeking an Advertising/Marketing copywriter who has significant experience in writing digital/social/native, click-bait headlines, and can translate data and information into copy for various mediums with little to no editing. Projects include advertisements, social posts, digital content, websites, billboards, letters and scripts. You’ll receive creative direction from a clients and/or colleagues and be expected to take it and run in a way that will represent the client's marketing and communications strategy.

This job description includes but is not limited to: developing copy and editing skills for marketing projects across multiple platforms, creative and concept development in a team environment, research and development, proofreading, time-management, and communication.

Listen, we all know clickbait is a sad part of the new media landscape, and all publishers are guilty of it, but that doesn't mean you should go out and list it as a job requirement. It's a freaking negative term! That would be like Chili's placing a help wanted ad for a cook with experience in adding more preservatives and sugar to foods, or a telemarketing company soliciting applicants who are great at lying to people and scamming them out of money.

Seriously, you have to gloss this stuff over. Say that you're looking for someone who can write "engaging headlines." It basically means the same thing as clickbait, but sounds more professional.

The classified ad also listed what it's like to work for The Oklahoman:

What’s working here like? Big variety of clients and projects. High energy, fast-paced, and busy. This is a deadline business, and even our writers must be deadline oriented. Salary, medical/dental/vision, and covered parking, and on-site fitness center.

That sounds like a fun place to work. It's too bad they were not transparent and left out some of the negative aspects of the gig, like living in a constant fear that you're going to be laid off, or helping walk Oklahoman readers to their cars after they had coffee with Kelly Dyer Fry.

The job doesn't seem to have any hardcore education requirements...

A degree in English or Creative Writing is encouraged.  Please be prepared to provide resume, references, and samples of recent work.

For me, the saddest part about this isn't that The Oklahoman is actively seeking someone to write clickbait. It's that I'm the perfect candidate for the job! How depressing is that?

Not only did I earn my corporate stripes working in advertising and marketing, but I have significant experience in writing digital/social/native and clickbait headlines, and can translate data and information into copy for various mediums with little to no editing. To top it all off, I have an English degree with an emphasis on creative writing. For example, here's a haiku about clickbait:

Prancing through meadows
of bright daffodils and bees. You
won't believe what's next.

Yeah, that literally only took like 30-seconds to write and I did it with little to no editing. I look forward to an interview where we can discuss the position in more detail.

Sincerely yours,

Patrick

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